The Talk We Were Supposed to Have


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By Self Evident Media and Self Evident Media LLC. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Gabe's always felt distant from his parents: not Filipino enough for his dad, not affectionate enough for his mom. But when he moves back to his white-bread hometown to donate a kidney to his dad and work alongside him at the “Fiesta in America,” Gabe is forced to rethink the way he's seen his family, his heritage, and his lifelong struggle to belong.

Share your story and keep the conversation going!

What food or dish reminds you of home? Let us know by writing, or sharing a photo, or even a recipe on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram (@selfevidentshow, with the hashtag #WeAreSelfEvident). Cathy and Gabe will kick it off, so watch out for their recipes and memories online!

Resources and Recommend Reading

The 21st annual Fiesta in America will take place on August 10-11, 2019 at the Meadowlands Expo Center in Secaucus, NJ.

Here's some food for the soul, straight from our team:

And a few articles examining the unique challenges of talking about mental health and accessing mental health resources from an Asian American perspective:

Shout Outs

This story began when Gabe wrote to us to share his deeply personal story and his determination to find meaning in it. Thanks to Gabe, his family, and his friends for allowing us to record these important conversations.

This episode was made possible by the generous support of Cheny Milholand and the rest of our 1,004 crowdfund backers.


Produced by James Boo and Gabriel Mara

Edited by Cheryl Devall and Julia Shu

Production support and fact checking by Katherine Jinyi Li

Sound engineering by Timothy Lou Ly

Theme music by Dorian Love

Music by Blue Dot Sessions and Epidemic Sound

Sound effects by Soundsnap

Self Evident is a Studiotobe production. Season 1 is presented by the Center for Asian American Media (CAAM), the Ford Foundation, and our listener community. Our show was incubated at the Made in New York Media Center by IFP.

About CAAM

CAAM (Center for Asian American Media) is a nonprofit organization dedicated to presenting stories that convey the richness and diversity of Asian American experiences to the broadest audience possible. CAAM does this by funding, producing, distributing, and exhibiting works in film, television, and digital media. For more information on CAAM, please visit With support from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, CAAM provides production funding to independent producers who make engaging Asian American works for public media.

34 episodes