Bert Kreischer The Machine public
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Birds are everywhere. Every climate and country has them. And Bryan has a bird sanctuary on his front door. Will Bryan save the baby birds from certain snake death? Yes he will! Krissy has a bird feeder problem and the hawk is chasing Blue around the yard. Then the gang review Madonna's new insane NFT and wonder if she is taking the plastic surgery…
 
The podcast has almost 3,00,000 downloads! Bryan and Krissy still don't understand why. Maybe it was...ALIENS! Bryan gets a text from a long lost friend, last heard from 10 years ago! Memories come flooding back about the River Room. A high end steak house where the food was always delicious, the booze always flowed and "bar regulars" always found …
 
There is an award given each year for bad erotic passages in otherwise good books. Bryan and Krissy review a few of these passages. Then, Marlon is on date number 5 with Sugar Mama and he is struggling to make it through. With eyes on the prize of an all expense paid trip to Venice will he make it? Bryan and Krissy have their doubts! Finally, the 9…
 
People are falling, jumping and escaping from cruise ships at an alarming rate! Bryan and Krissy discuss how one might be retrieved from a fall like this...hint: you probably can't be retrieved! Bryan wonders if the food drove these people to jump. Then, Bryan tells Krissy about his "go-to" cooking skills...hint: he has none! Finally, the gang deci…
 
Today, I sit down with the host of Carnival Eats, Noah Cappe! We talk about our favorite travel shows, growing up in a family of 10, being a new parent, interviewing Dwight Howard, carnival food, and much more! Follow Noah Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/noahcappe Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/noahcappe This episode is brought to you by …
 
Marlon, Bryan's single friend is working his way to date # 10 with his sugar momma. The woman in question has promised a private flight and fancy hotels in Venice for the tenth date. The magic pheromone "smell" is not there but Marlon is hanging on for the ride. However, he is learning the hard way that this woman may be a bit more demanding than h…
 
Today, I sit down with Chloé Toscano. Chloé is a Paralympic swimmer and writer focusing on disability advocacy and awareness. We talk about her accident, limb removal surgery, joining the Paralympics, why she removed her arm, the articles she’s written, and much more! Follow Chloé Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chloevalentinetoscano This epis…
 
An Alabama Corrections Officer had a 2 year relationship with an inmate convicted of murder and attempted murder. After selling her home and resigning from her job she assisted the inmate as he escaped. Now her and the 6 foot 9 inch tall inmate are on the run. Bryan and Krissy bet he will be caught! Short men are taking to breaking their legs to ga…
 
Lucky Charms the venerable cereal with marshmallows has been pissing Bryan off since the early 1980's. He asks the question: Why can't the ratio of marshmallows be consistent?! Krissy wonders if Bryan should open a Dippin Dots. "Marlon" is not the name of Bryan's single friend getting much airtime on the podcast. But his stories of single life keep…
 
A trip to the local Publix turns into a race for Bryan. He get's into a check-out with with a lady in a hurry. Krissy reminds everyone to "rev down" not up. Finally, it's been 2+ years of TCB yet Bryan and Krissy have never answered the listener questions as they promised.....18 months ago! Today is the day. **IMPACT by Interactive Brokers Informat…
 
Krissy and Bryan decide it's time to get some professional promo photos. So Bryan sets up a photo shoot and requests some Kardashian style edits. Kim K is bellybutton...according to some internet experts. The gang discusses ratings books, radio reporting beepers and T.V. rating. Bryan is still concerned about Meta-verse children and finally, Bryan …
 
Today, I sit down with comedian/podcaster/athlete Brendan Schaub. We talk about shooting his new special, being bad at breakups, tough mudders, Dana White, Jake and Logan Paul, Paddy Pimblett, parenting, and much more! Watch Brendan’s new stand up special “The Gringo Papi” on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4zH9mu_0Oc Follow Brendan …
 
A random YouTube commenter shares their dislike for the TCB video on Showgirls. Leading Bryan and Krissy to wonder if anyone actually listens to the show before they comment. Bryan talks about Hunter S. Thompson's influence on his young, crazy life. Further Fest was the Grateful Dead's short lived tour after Jerry died. Bryan and His friend decide …
 
Bryan has a bird's nest on his front door and the resulting nursery of birds is scaring the whole family! As the baby birds are hatching his kids are learning the circle of life isn't very pretty. Bryan recalls a phone call where his friend asks those 4 little words no one wants to hear: Are you sitting down?! He learns that his ex-flame is the sta…
 
Today, I sit down with Josh Peck. We talk about growing up as a child star, why he never met his dad, losing 110 lbs, skin removal surgery gone wrong, doing drugs, getting sober, gym injuries, and much more! Follow Josh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shuapeck Twitter: https://twitter.com/ItsJoshPeck Josh has a new book “Happy People Are Annoy…
 
Bryan decides he should read some podcast reviews on the show...for the first time ever. It's a mixed bag and the listeners may be funnier than he is! Bryan and Krissy wonder at what point they would consider themselves famous. They also ponder what they could do with their new found fame and money. Bryan is late too the story about the Sophia Uris…
 
Bryan is made to sleep on the couch near the cruise ship door but the neighbors keep it interesting. He hears about some engagement drama, a possible affair and crazy stories from his open balcony door. Then, Bryan explains why he is cruising the halls of the Disney ship late at night. He meets some TCB fans (in his head) and he makes the whole shi…
 
Bryan is back from a cruise. The food was great but his ability to watch TLC was not. Netflix is trying to keep momentum with the sister series to Love Is Blind, Ultimatum. 6 couples "swing" their way to marriage decisions. Bryan isn't buying it. Finally, The Hillsong Church has a long and sorted history. Like most church scandals, it's hypocrisy a…
 
Today, I sit down with comedian Matt Rife. We talk about Wild ’n Out, doing edibles with Ralphie May on tour, ghost hunting, his special, and much more! Follow Matt Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mattrife Twitter: https://twitter.com/mattrife Watch Matt’s new special “Only Fans” on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzgFwZEAHZQ Thi…
 
Bryan and Krissy are back from a short vacation. Bryan took the family on a Disney Cruise and it was GREAT! Disney World..not so much. North Florida random gas stations are interesting places. Bryan shares about his own time tending a random gas station late nights. Krissy is doing some spring Condo cleaning and throwing out the house. Finally, Bry…
 
Bryan share a story from south Georgia where a cop is caught on TikTok having "relations" with a mistress behind his patrol car. Then Krissy wonders if she will ever be able to get another normal job after TCB. Finally, Bryan shares a concern with listeners...TCB doesn't finish the clips they review. Well, that's all changing starting today. Part 2…
 
Bryan wonders why all parents use the first, middle, last name shout to address children when they are angry. Bryan gives more misinformation when he discusses the UGA animal breeding program. Krissy has to sit and listen to Bryan retell the losing his virginity story...for the 12th time. He recalls being grounded "until further notice". Which enco…
 
Today, I sit down in New York with comedian Mark Normand. We talk about Chris Rock & Will Smith, The Real World, new phrases, our upcoming shows together, New York comedy, and much more! Follow Mark Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marknormand Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/marknorm Marks Podcasts Tuesdays with Stories: https://podcasts.ap…
 
Recently Bryan and Krissy did a bit about Fenn's Treasure. They posted a clip to YouTube and the Fenn fans ripped into TCB! Apparetnly people believe TCB should be held to journalistic standards. Bryan reminds listeners...this show is SATIRE! Then the two discuss the very serious events at the Oscars. Jada, Chris and Comedy end up being the losers …
 
Bryan visits a rural store where a lady is berating a manager about 3 missing ounces of Cheerios. Bryan's friend goes to dinner with the world's cheapest blind date. Blue is up to her old tricks. This time she is in the diaper pale having a 5 course meal of....poo. Then Bryan shares an episode of World's Biggest Cheapskate where the Wiener Wagon Ma…
 
Bryan is still having dreams about Alanis Morissette and he cannot figure out why! Then he shares his music video hit list from late nights in the studio. Hint: The music is good, Bryan singing is bad. Then the gang agrees: Sting is a God. Men want to be him, women want to be with him! Finally, Krissy used to host a late night Apartment Finder info…
 
Today, I sit down with comedian/podcaster, Akaash Singh. We talk about Indian Women, The Simpsons, Cosby, his new specials, Will Smith, proposing to his Wife, and much more! Check out his 2 new specials on YouTube Bring Back Apu: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk3svL0GPWI Crowd Work Special: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePpIH_u6bHE&t=35s Follow…
 
Bryan wonders wether the Oscars were THIS weekend or NEXT? (Clearly, another fact filled episode of TCB is on the way!). Spermidictine is a thing and it's being put in all the gift bags for A-list actors / actresses at the Oscars. Marketing is a weaponized art form helping to sell junk to all humans across time and space. If you want to be better, …
 
Bryan has recently been researching Fenn's treasure. A decade ago a strange man buried a relatively small amount of gold coins and stones and wrote a poem as the guide map. Bryan wants to tell the story and Krissy spoils the fun! Then the two discuss burying a TCB treasure chest. Only one problem...Krissy and Bryan have am awful track record in the…
 
Bryan is getting old (older) and he is having trouble sleeping. His son has a cast and it's certainly not helping Bryan find rest. Krissy used to take sleeping pills but that wan't good! Then, Bryan turns to ASMR videos for sleep help and he finds absolute annoyance. Finally, the gang review a few ASMR videos that seem more like personal journals a…
 
Today, I sit down with actor and “Workaholics” star, Anders Holm. We talk about the budget for the workaholics proof of concept, Inventing Anna, favorite celebrities he’s worked with, Tom Brady, and much more! Check out “This is Important” here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-is-important/id1529931681 Follow Anders Instagram: https://ww…
 
Spring has sprung, the flowers are in bloom and Bryan is interested in sports again. It's the best time in sporting and as a sporting expert, Bryan should know. Then more reviews for the show are rolling in and more TCB fans prove themselves to be funnier than the actual hosts. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were an awful version of children's entert…
 
Bryan reminds Krissy about his brush with fame in the form of the band Rush. He is tortured , to this day, by one word repeated hundreds of times at that encounter. Then Bryan has the 2021 Pornhub Annual Report and he is here to tell the TCB universe just how twisted we all have become! Then Bryan has been digging around the internet looking for cr…
 
Some new Apple reviews are rolling in and one thing is clear...TCB fans are a bunch of feisty smart asses! The commercial breaks inside The Commercial Break are discussed. Bryan fears an article about a woman who gives her husband a threesome for his birthday and leaves him for the 3rd woman in the mix, might be the end of his marriage (It is ALL a…
 
Today, I sit down with comedians and the hosts of the critically acclaimed podcast “Guys We F****d”, Corinne Fisher & Krystyna Hutchinson. We talk about getting cheated on, biggest heart breaks, most attractive countries, biggest fears, and much more! Check out their podcast “Guys We F****d” here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/guys-we-f-d/i…
 
Bryan once lived with a stripper and her mother. Unfortunately for Bryan his girlfriend decided to sleep with landscaper while Bryan slept on her bedroom floor. Then Bryan explains to Krissy why he was 15 years late to a court case. A sea seal makes an EPIC save when a pot head falls of his boat at 2am without a survival suit or closed toe shoes. F…
 
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