Christallman Podcasts

Looks like the cave has all those eyeless owl harpies you ordered! After deftly disarming a trap and interrogating a corpse, it's time to test our heroes' mettle in combat! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.…

As our crew commits to travelling through the caves, the harpy encounter is imminent. Hopefully Ronnie is used to his role as "leader" because his friends will need his help if they want to avoid becoming the food of eyeless barn owl creatures. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month a…

Our wary party has begun their trek into the misty caves, and it's not long before things get super creepy. Sadly the entire boat full of heroes isn't along for the dungeon crawl together, but we get a chance to get to know everyone, even Bunk the Donkeyland halfling, a little bit better. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpok…

They haven't even been dropped off at the main quest yet, and already our crew is getting into spectral boat related mayhem, and confusing NPCs who may or may not want to join the party. It remains to be seen whether the party will make it into the dungeon! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.…

It's time to meet a brand new cast of characters, as the season begins on a boat piloted by a drunken fairy named Goggo, as it heads to an evil castle. The dreaded king and archlich Vallux lies within, and it's up to a very ragtag and boisterous crew to stop him! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.…

Before every campaign, there is planning! And we thought that this time we'd let listeners be privvy to all of it. Enjoy hanging out with all of us as we contemplate whether to create new characters, bring back old ones, or create a spin that ties both together (which is what one of us does). Soon these five folks will delve into the dark castle of…

Dan checks in with everyone to let them know a new adventure starts very soon, but you can catch up on a bazillion exclusive adventures over on patreon.com/nerdpoker. Listen all the way through for some hints of what Season 5 has in store!

Behold! Whilst we get ready for Season 5, enjoy this early 2020 bonus episode straight from Brian's house! Kevin Sussman from The Big Bang Theory comes by and takes our crew on one of their more... chaotic adventures. We hope you can come support us on www.patreon.com/nerdpoker and help keep this podcast alive!…

The battle peaks. Lives in the balance. A small being's silhouette sits upon the steering wheel of a ship.

The vampire who has cornered the cuties seems to have summoned his greatest monster, a shadowy demon that now sucks life from the cuties one by one. Also this is a morning recording on a Monday, enjoy the odd change in tone! We're more awake and yet somehow more weary at the same time.

The summoned monsters are dropping but so are our heroes, and it's a relatively tense fight all around. Luckily Sam posts an accidental cut and paste link in the chat at the end to break the tension!

The mess in the temple is only getting messier. Will the Castaway Cuties make it out alive? Well, some of them anyway?

Trapped in the Temple of Bahamut (which you know, doesn't sound bad on its own) an eerie voice calls to the Castaway Cuties through the blocked door. Hopefully the Dungeon Master hasn't recently watched the movie Green Room! Oh wait he did...

Time to finally shatter this phylactery. Hopefully. Should be simple. Just a big old demon lord stuck to it, should be no big deal. And no big that the Castaway Cuties feel like they're being watched. This campaign should wrap up real nice and easy!

The finish line is seemingly only inches away, as the Castaway Cuties and their new barbarian friend approach the temple of Bahamut beneath Flaysacolan ruins. Hopefully the creepy glowing green eyes in the dark are friendly!

The Castaway Cuties know where they want to go, but unfortunately it's something they only really visited in another timeline. All they have to do is get past some undead elf soldiers. Seems like not much can go wrong!

The last bits of the battle need to be tidied up, and a helpful new adventurer arrives to join the Castaway Cuties.

While the swarm of guards is thinning out, the Castaway Cuties are running out of spell slots, hit points, and death saves. We shan't say more, this one is a must-listen.

Well, we all knew things might end up messy when our crew snuck under some gallows and then picked a fight with an army. As hit points start to run low for everyone, it sure would be nice to take a short rest wouldn't it?

Undead elf knights pile on the Castaway Cuties, as well as something even more disgusting. At least they're not squishing around under the gallows anymore!

Undead knights everywhere? So what? The Castaway Cuties never let something like that stop them from their destination. And we all know how foolproof a stealth-based plan is in Dungeons and Dragons.

The Castaway Cuties attempt to put a particularly blood y battle behind them, and Danny goes on a special mission to find a way into the now-evil city of Flaysacola.

Yipes, this cave battle is getting very ugly for the Castaway Cuties. Hopefully amongst the bodies there will be a few good saving throws. And death saving throws.

The Castaway Cuties start to realize just how deep they might be in over their heads, as cave creatures begin to swarm them and party members start getting chewed on. How hard was that cliff to climb again?

Bears made of lava sure sound fun on paper, but the Castaway Cuties have to contend with getting one to not melt everyone. The cave they're in should have been a better option than climbing that cliff, so at least there's that!

It's time to sneak into Flaysacola, as that town is now apparently run by undead elves and that's probably going to be a problem. The Castaway Cuties must now decide whether to climb a cliff, go for a swim, or enter a mysterious cave. Surely climbing the cliff wouldn't take a year, like climing that boat did last season.…

If it isn't that anti-beastfolk guard who got chummed for a dragon turtle in S4E1? Hmm welp in this timeline things are SURE to go less horribly this time... right?

Well well well, if things haven't come full circle a bit. The Cuties are now trying to flag a ship to come pick them up. Oh yeah, and the time space continuum is in a mysteriously askew place. Nothing a few weird plans can't fix!

Now that the Castaway Cuties have their hands on the demon lord Pa(n)zuzu, all they have to do is kill it and/or smash the phylactery around his neck, and the world will be a safer place. One thing, though- reality has been completely warped and nobody on the continent may remember who they are. Probably nbd, right?…

Welp, we went back in time to get the phylactery from the demon lord, and look at this fine mess we got ourselves into. Anyone got a smoke?

Some serious portal shenanigans are afoot. Will the Castaway Cuties manage to not screw up the multiverse? We think you know the answer.

In this very sexy episode, the Castaway Cuties head towards the mayor of Flaysacola's keep to see if he's there, a clone, a demon, or you know, whatever the crew has to fight now. Maybe a necromancer that turns into a giant baby?

Nathan and fellow rabbitfolk Cospia finally reunite with the rest of the Castaway Cuties and begin to plot how to use their new levels, as well as how to deal with what appears to be a huge archdemon about to appear in Davenglaven. No big deal.

We know you've missed Chris Tallman as much, so we thought we'd catch Nathan up with a solo adventure, as well as give Chris room to take as long as he wanted with a gaming session while he heals up. Full cast next episode!

Partially seeking revenge for the death of their butler Octavio, partly killing an NPC full of information just because he looked at them weird, the Castaway Cuties are embroiled in a brutal battle with a vampire lord and his wooden mech bodyguard. If only they had rested once in the last 15ish episodes before initiating combat!…

Time to punch... Woody? A weird golem thing is protecting the vampire. Some fans might think these two sure sound familiar!

After successfully scouting the secret lair of the cabal, the Cuties decide to face their antagonist head-on in a crowded luxury inn's lobby. And you know this crew loves to avoid collateral damage! Let's have a listen shall we?

Vampire schemes are headed to Flaysacola and the crew are trying to figure out how to get there ahead of them, or stop them before they can get there. In the meantime they're leaving Kurt of the Adventurer's Guild in charge of the mansion, which is probably not gonna be weird at all!

Those damn vamps! Always messing with a party's party. The cabal is pulling some really lame stuff, and boy oh boy killing them will be nice.

Trigger warning: some real gross stuff continues with Danny's throat parasite. On the bright side, with Blaine's help Brian finds quite a novel and bizarre solution! We hope you enjoy the end of that particularly gross business, and the shocking cliffhanger as well!

There's some kind of crazy conspiracy going on, and we're just the crew to be confused by it! Clues abound as the Castaway Cuties go through the basement of the vampires creepy jungle home... will they manage to piece this nonsense kinda sorta together?

The cornered vampire sure does seem to have a chip on his mysteriously-caped-shoulder. Well the Castaway Cuties are infamous interrogators, so this will probably go without any punches thrown!

The Castaway Cuties finally crash, and things get creepy real fast. I mean it's a manor that was once a hag's meeting place for her cabal of evil, just south of a being named Kronk the Walking Economy, you'd think they could just cuddle under their duvet and have cozy dreams.

The Castaway Cuties are re-exploring their little house and examining their gear, and perhaps the best part is Sam playing the part of loremaster for once. Thanks Sam!

As the Castaway Cuties are stalked through the final stretch to Blingbottom, they hope Princess Cospia lets them chop her arm off before she becomes completely stone. Wait, that's not quite how they put it. But you know... pretty close!

The Castaway Cuties could sure use a break- and they try to take one! Hopefully nothing in this horrific jungle of death and destruction will try to take advantage of this moment.

Things are heating up, thanks to an out of control jungle fire chasing the Castaway Cuties as they travel southwest to Davenglaven. And oh yeah, that whole abyssal curse thing!

The curses worsen as the Castaway Cuties struggle to shakes off the after effects of their fight with the demon. Speaking of which, weird how something smells like smoke!

After handling the demon confrontation, it's time to see if our heroes sent the right person-creature across the river to the south. Hopefully yes, since she was carrying the thing they slayed that whole army for!

What's a little battle between our heroes and an entire fish army armed with a demon and war machines? Seems like this is gonna go great!