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I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 25 years and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment, and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or somehow suggests you can't "fix" your own problems. My team is so honored that five years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 3.5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question. And, once a month, you’ll hear a “You Get the ...
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The SelfWork Podcast
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284 SelfWork: Josh Peck Talks True Happiness: A Conversation with The Actor and Author of Happy People Are Annoying
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Where did you learn who Josh Peck was? Through his award-winning performance in Drake and Josh when he was a teen? Starring next to Ben Kingsley in The Wackness? Or has it been more recently in Disney+ Turner and Hooch? What I learned in this interview is that you likely didn't know who Josh was, because for years, he strenuously devoted himself to…
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283 SelfWork: Not Drinking Tonight: A Conversation with Retired-Party-Girl-Turned-Therapist Amanda White
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I first found Amanda White on Instagram, as she's the therapist behind Therapy For Women - a popular Instagram mental health group. But then I learned more about her. Her book came out early in 2022: NOT DRINKING TONIGHT: A Guide to Creating a Sober Life You Love, where she calls herself a retired-party-girl-turned-therapist. She became sober herse…
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282 SelfWork: Watching My Mother Disappear
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This is a very personal episode of SelfWork, as I tell the story of my mother's intense struggles with anxiety - and her turning to prescription drugs to help her cope. Sadly, doctors in the 1960's brushed off women with "nerves" and handed out medications that were not only strong, but addictive. And some women, like my mother, developed a prescri…
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281 SelfWork: A Personal Story of DID (Dissociative Identify Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality): A Conversation with Lyn Barrett
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Warning: There are references made in this episode to childhood abuse and suicidal thoughts/attempts. Please listen with caution. Here are international suicide prevention hotlines and resources. Lyn Barrett is a guest you'll never forget. She suffered from DID (which used to be called multiple personality disorder) and now manages a fully function…
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280 SelfWork: Eight Dark Lies That Depression Tells You - And How To Challenge Them
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One of the hardest even most cruel things about depression is the very darkness of your thoughts – the hounding of your mind and heart with feelings that seem to have the power at times to wipe all rationale from your consciousness and bury you with shame and worthlessness, distrust, and complete disbelief that anything might ever change. So today …
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279 SelfWork: Special Guest Host! Ashley Stahl and The You Turn Podcast Interviews Tatyana Rae on The Art Of Loving
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Today we’re doing something new! And it's the brainchild of the woman you're about to meet! Ashley Stahl is a counterterrorism professional turned career coach, spokesperson, and author of the bestselling book, You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career. Through her two viral TEDx speeches, her online courses,and her p…
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278 SelfWork: 15 Good Questions To Ask Your Potential Therapist
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Three times this week I was asked, "Just how do I interview a therapist?" So... I'm going to give you fifteen very specific, concrete, and legit questions to ask a potential therapist. It's important of course to note how that therapist is answering you and does their manner of talking with you seem warm and engaging? I hope this helps with any con…
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277 SelfWork: Mental Health Days. Five Ways To Balance Work With Well-Being
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What's a mental health day? Why should you take one? And how to answer the question, “What good will it do anyway? I just have to go back tomorrow….And I need the money.” I’m going to give you some ideas of how to really use a mental health day to your advantage – and the problems inherent in many work places in “admitting” or ‘revealing” that’s wh…
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276 SelfWork: What's Covert Narcissism? And What Can You Do About It?
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This past month, I heard from a woman who identifies herself as manifesting covert narcissism and she’s looking for both support and information on how she could best address what she so desperately and sincerely wants to change in herself. She talks about the extreme lack of help out there- and she’s right. Sometimes we can forget as a culture tha…
Here's today's You Get The Gist! If you’ve been watching March Madness recently, hopefully you’ve seen the new commercials, sponsored by Powerade, supporting the power of pause. They feature premiere such as Simone Biles, Premier League soccer manager Antonio Conte and Olympic Gold diver Tom Daley as they take pause to relax and enjoy unexpected ho…
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275 SelfWork: The Why, How, Who, What, When, and Where of Sharing Your Story
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This question came up in a couple of scenarios this week. So, I decided to go with the synergy of that and focus on the decisions surrounding self-revelation - or telling your story. Here's the question: “How do I talk to someone about what’s really going on with me? I’m scared they’ll feel like I’m dumping on them, I’m feeling sorry for myself. Or…
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274 SelfWork: "Weeds Are Flowers Too" : Working Thru Disappointment
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A.A. Milne's character Winnie the Pooh - Eeyore - the droopy eyed donkey who Winnie loves, has many famous quotes. But this is one of my favorites, especially when thinking about how to work through disappointment. "Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them." Disappointment is something we all have to work through. Yet it’s important to know…
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273 SelfWork: Perfectly Hidden Depression, Rabbit Holes, Healing from Narcissists, and Boundaries with BPD
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Today's episode is full of wonderful email questions from four of you and my answers! We'll cover someone who identifies with perfectly hidden depression and is doing trauma work... but things seem to be getting harder, not easier. Is that normal? A second listener writes in about how difficult it is for her to change habits - and down the rabbit h…
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272 SelfWork: Three Vital Questions To Ask Your Doctor (And Other Fascinating Info) Your Life Depends On It: A Conversation with Author Talya Miron-Shatz
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I loved this review of Talya Miron-Shatz' new book Your Life Depends On It (certainly an attention-catching title!) “People who expect to stay healthy forever need not read this wonderful book. The rest of us should. With a fine combination of humor, compassion and vast knowledge, Talya Miron-Shatz offers clear and useful guidance for the hardest d…
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271 SelfWork: You Are What You Click: A Conversation with Author Brian Primack
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Imagine my surprise when I heard of a great book I wanted to feature on SelfWork - and then discovered its author lived in my own hometown of Fayetteville, Arkansas! That book is You Are What You Click and its author is Dr. Brian Primack. He holds a master’s in education from Harvard (with a focus on adolescent development, psychology, and educatio…
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270 SelfWork: Five Things to Know To Help You Feel Emotionally Safe In Therapy
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I get a lot of questions about therapy - how to find a therapist, how to know if therapy is working. One of the most common questions is, “How do I open up?” But here was another and different kind of comment last week. “Things I was only vaguely aware of, or knew, but was able to keep locked away from myself - have decided to pick the lock.” So, s…
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269 SelfWork: The Dangerous Twin Towers of Burnout and Perfectionism
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Perhaps the most poignant messages I receive are the ones from people who love someone who's becoming less and less “like’ themselves – and are frightened about what’s going on. This week I heard from a wife whose husband..."has always had an excuse for his extremely busy schedule. Over the past several months he has been acting very differently an…
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268 SelfWork: Ten Traits That Create Camouflage for Trauma: Perfectly Hidden Depression
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I want to eagerly and deeply thank HealthLine for naming The SelfWork Podcast the "Best Overall Podcast for Depression!" Wow!! Thank you to my team and to you, the listeners! Talk about not being able to "do it without you"? We truly can't! So my gratitude to each and every listener... Today I'm going to catch you up on what I'm continuing to learn…
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YGTG (You Get the Gist): A Thought After Cheslie Kryst's Suicide - The Need to Redefine Strength and Success
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On this YGTG for this week, please know that we offer a trigger warning; I'm going to talk about the recent suicide of Cheslie Kryst. On the 30th of January, a young woman threw herself off the balcony of a New York high rise and died. She was Cheslie Kryst, who'd made history as the oldest Miss USA at the age of 28. She was highly successful, extr…
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267 SelfWork: Am I Expecting Too Much? Being Demanding? Or Am I Setting A Boundary?
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Today we're going to talk about the fairly sticky subject of the difference between expectations, demand, and setting boundaries. What do you do when you feel disappointed by others? Do you isolate or judge? Do you get mad or sulk? Could it be that your very expectations are the problem? Is it different to voice your expectations than it is to secr…
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266 SelfWork: Working With Your Obsessions and Compulsions: A Conversation with Kimberley Quinlan
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We have a huge treat for you today, and her name is Kimberly Quinlan. She specializes in anxiety disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorders, and body focused, repetitive behaviors.. She also provides one-on-one treatment, and offers free online courses at the school she founded, The CBT School. . And I really recommend that any of y…
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265 SelfWork: How To Self-Soothe: Stop Bottling Things Up and Shoving Them Away
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I’m so delighted to be back with you in 2022! Happy New Year to all of you as we continue to work for you here on the podcast! We are growing by leaps and bounds so a huge thank you to all of you who’ve been sharing and telling your friends about your experience. Please subscribe wherever you listen and my immense gratitude to any of you who’ve lef…
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199 SelfWork (Second Time Around): Trauma Bonding - When Trust Is Manipulated and Destroyed
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Here's our last Second Time Around until we're back in the saddle in a few days! And we're so looking forward to what's ahead in 2022! What's a trauma bond? How does it form? Why is it important for that dynamic to have its own label or name? Trauma bonding happens when trust is highly manipulated; when commitment and trying to make a relationship …
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116 SelfWork (Second Time Around) Do You Have Perfectly Hidden or High Functioning Depression?
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Hello and welcome again to SelfWork! We've got one more week until we're back live! But I've chosen some of the most popular episodes to listen to a second time around! And of course, today's episode is one very close to my heart. What’s the difference, or is there one, between Perfectly Hidden Depression and what’s called high-functioning depressi…
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166 SelfWork (Second Time Around): Four Ways to Find Your Way Back to Love
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Starting off in a new year, knowing it'll be filled with both challenge and celebration, it helps to think you have a solid partnership in your life. But if you have conflict or estrangement or alienation within your relationship, facing a new year can be more than daunting and certainly very lonely. Today we’re going to focus on what can cause the…
