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Ever had a guy ghost you? He’s into you and suddenly he pulls away or cheats? Does he leave and come back into your life? This is a Gumball Guy. Gumball Love is attention addiction. Attention is just like a Gumball, temporarily intense and sweet but soon the effect is gone. Guys addicted to the “Gumball" (any flavor of attention), get a high from the excitement, adoration and validation. During this cycle they appear to be falling in love. When the high is gone they pull away, ghost or cheat ...
 
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I need your help! It's getting soo juicy writing this book, we're really beginning to pull apart the layers and get extra specific about each different type of Gumball Guy and how you can recognize them. In this episode I give an overview of all the different "flavors" of Gumball Guys that is (hopefully) more clear and precise than ever before, so …
 
Are you constantly caught up in unrealistic day dreams about a guy you just met or have been talking to for a while? In this episode, we discuss how media has influenced our perception of love, how to uncover what your current perception of love is, signs you're caught up in an unrealistic fantasy with a Gumball Guy, what types of things you actual…
 
Today we talk about the urgency around feeling the need to "fix" all your issues and insecurities. We talk about balance in focusing on your own healing, and figuring out what you need to give yourself, but not rushing the process. Slowing down, to speed up. Follow and Work with Melissa The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can stil…
 
Many of you have been coming into my DMs or writing in the private Facebook group asking about what are the red flags to know if he's really looking for love or just a hook up? And I'm going to share these red flags with you in this podcast, but I'm also gonna give you some tough love, because while knowing red flags is great, we need to stop focus…
 
Wondering if YOU are the Gumball Girl? Sometimes we are the ones giving and receiving gumballs, and it feels good to get that dopamine hit. This isn't always a bad thing, if your relationship with this guy is not SOLELY based on these dopamine hits. It becomes a problem when the guy is not seeking anything more than a quick "high", and there is no …
 
When we are disappointed with another person or situation in our life, it can almost always come back to what expectations we had about that person or situation. When someone doesn't come through for us, we assume it was their conscious choice. But often, we're assuming this person has more to give than they actually do. Not everyone has the capaci…
 
We've all been there...you're texting back and forth with a guy, and the responses are pretty quick in the beginning, everything is exciting, you're getting the butterflies....and gradually, the responses get slower and slower to be returned (or, it's very sudden that he's taking so long to reply). You start to freak out, thinking he's not interest…
 
In this episode, we're digging into gaslighting. If you haven't heard of gaslighting before, it's defined as: "Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that's seen in abusive relationships. It's the act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, and the events occurring around them. A victim of gaslighting can be…
 
When you're in a new relationship or just starting to go on a few dates with a guy, do you ever feel like you're being evaluated against some checklist on a clipboard? He says things like, "When you do that it reminds me of my ex, who cheated on me..." or "I have trust issues so I can't handle it when you...". Then you find yourself doing backflips…
 
When a guy wants the Pink Gumball type of attention, he's the one who always makes every conversation about him. You could say anything, and he'll always turn it back to him. Or when he gives you a gift, it's not for the joy of watching you light up when you receive it, it's about him being able to take all the credit for finding the gift, or how m…
 
"Work is so crazy right now, but we should meet up soon." -text from a guy who wants the Purple Gumball This episode is all about the Purple Gumball, or the guy who gets high off you chasing and pursuing him. He's the guy who says and does just enough to keep you reeled in, but doesn't actually offer anything valuable to your life. He just takes an…
 
This episode is about the Blue Gumball, or as I like to call it, "Pity Me". This is the guy (or person, if it's one of your friends or family members), who is always complaining about everything and wants your constant sympathy and pity. You try and give them advice, but they never take action on anything. They just want to hear themselves complain…
 
The Green Gumball: Green with Envy, Compete with Her for Me, is the guy who you'll be sitting with at your first or second date and he says, "I've gone on a few dates with this other girl, and I really thought she was it for me, but now that I've met you...I really like you too. I'm just not sure." Just imagine, how do you feel in that moment? You …
 
Does it feel like you always have to be entertaining your guy, or he's bored? A while back I'd started a series assigning a different color or "flavor of attention" to each type of Gumball Guy. I've already done an episode on the Red Gumball, which is the guy who is all about sex, and the Orange Gumball, which is the guy who wants the intense drama…
 
In this episode, I'm answering your questions! **Trigger warning: suicide is discussed in this episode** We've got scenarios like.. After the fifth date, when things seemed to be going great and even the topic of marriage was touched upon, seemingly out of no where the guy says he doesn't think they're a good fit. Our girl wants to know, "What did …
 
If you are currently considering leaving your marriage, going through a divorce, or dating after divorce, you're gonna want to listen to this episode for some serious inspiration! Soni Pelty got married at age 19 through an arranged marriage, as is custom in her Indian heritage. Things seemed fine the first couple months, until she discovered her h…
 
In this episode, learn how to elevate your life and boost your energy levels on a budget. We'll talk about how to bring hobbies, community, and people into your life like fitness trainers, personal chefs, personal assistants...and not break the bank. You'll learn how to focus on only the things that you do really well and that bring you joy, and ou…
 
In this episode I'll be answering a listener question: How will I know if he's the right guy? She also feared that she may have so much self worth and love that no guy will ever be good enough for her. So if you've asked yourself similar questions, you'll want to tune in to this episode! There are tons of "lists" out there that you'll find on Buzzf…
 
Are you sitting there, waiting to find someone to "complete" you? Do you feel like your life won't really begin, or you can't let it begin, without finding "The One"? Are you feeling purposeless and unfulfilled in your life, and thinking if you could just find the guy, things would finally all fall into place and you'll be happy? Then you NEED to h…
 
Are you carrying around the weight of how your ex made you feel not good enough, into new relationships? Or maybe it's even affecting relationships with friends, family, or your work life. Don't beat yourself up about it or carry shame around about it! The message I want to get across in this episode is that: These men are insecure, so they try to …
 
When we are experiencing anxiety, it often means we are focusing on and worrying about things that are out of our control. 2020 has been full of things out of our control, so let's talk about how to soothe ourselves when anxiety starts creeping up and stop it from taking over us! First, I'll chat about what anxiety is and what can cause it. Then, I…
 
We can talk about avoiding red flags and Gumball Guys, but when it comes to actually being in a healthy relationship and being attracted to a healthy relationship, I want to bring to your attention that you may have anxiety around the actual attachment part. **** We don't have to be perfect and totally secure before entering a relationship, but it'…
 
I'm back after a podcasting hiatus! 2020 has been full of twists and turns as we all know, and I wanted to give you the full rundown on what's been going on in my life behind the scenes. In this episode of Gumball Love I spill all the details on finding the love of my life, moving out of my beloved home of New York City, and the exciting new direct…
 
Tonya Carter is a certified relationship coach, author, speaker and podcast host that specializes in helping divorced women find their voice, regain their power and obtain personal freedom to live a thriving life. Her podcast, “The Reinvent U Podcast”, focuses on mindset, emotions, finances, health, faith, love, parenting and building meaningful re…
 
This episode is my favorite of all time. My private clients in Back to YOU Academy agreed to share their stories and their journey with YOU. This is such an amazing opportunity to see and hear the real and raw details behind some amazing transformations. We would LOVE to hear your feedback on this episode. Tag me on IG @TheMelissaLeger. Want more? …
 
Are you emotionally unavailable? I never thought I was until Dr. Debbie gave me and so many of you an A-Ha! moment that changed everything. If I am meeting the needs of others I am unavailable to allow someone else to meet my needs. I literally won’t be attracted to a nice guy because I have the unconscious contract to someone else. SHUT THE FRONT …
 
Are your parents keeping you single? You are attractive, smart and doing well in your career. There is no outward reason you shouldn’t be able to find love… but… what if you have developed a pattern that leads you to the Gumball Guy over and over? Is your connection with your mom or dad causing you to unconsciously follow a blueprint you never knew…
 
On this episode of Gumball Love we have ANOTHER incredible guest..Cynthia Kuehn from The Siren Confidential blog. Do you feel like you just have SO much on your plate lately? You've typically thought of yourself to be a self-disciplined person but lately you just can't seem to manage your time and everything you've got going on. You feel like you'r…
 
I'm SO excited to be collaborating again with my good friend, mentor, and inspiration in so many ways, Cara Alwill Leyba from The Champagne Diet. Cara is a female empowerment coach, blogger, podcast host, and self-published author of 9 books, including the best seller Girl Code. Today, on 11/11, and eleven years since she first started this journey…
 
How do you know if he's really falling in love? If he's REALLY into you, or....if he's full of crap. In this episode, we're talking about how to know if the romance you're experiencing is really built to last for the long term or if it's just a temporary high. Show notes: https://www.gumballlove.com/blog/signs-to-know-if-he-is-falling-in-love-for-r…
 
Today I have a BIG EXCITING announcement about the Back to YOU Academy and membership!! Listen in for details! And, I will be addressing an interesting thing a dude said to one of the girls I’m coaching. After a while of fun dates, he expressed that he’s no longer interested, with the reasoning: “I guess I just need the chase.” The chase. An ages-o…
 
Why do men cheat? The answers to this question that you'll find online or that a cheater will tell you are the biggest lies we are told as women. The answers are made to make us feel as though we are somehow responsible for their behavior and that we have the power to change it. Cheater/society: "All men cheat." Mainstream media response: "8 ways t…
 
Sometimes we'd do more to help our friends than we do to help ourselves. We have the best intentions and think we're helping, but sometimes we're actually making the process longer for her. This episode will teach you how to compassionately help your friend (or your daughter, or your mom, whoever!) through this tough time, and might even show you h…
 
Why do we date the wrong guy over and over again? I've covered a lot in the past about why the bad guys (the Gumball Guys) act the way they do, but it's time to talk about YOU. There's two people involved in these relationships and you're one of them, so what's your part in all of this? In this podcast episode I will cover 9 reasons why you might b…
 
Did you know that before you have a one on one coaching session with me, I don't really know exactly what I'm going to say to you? It's not because I'm not a good relationship coach. It's because each and every one of my girls is a totally different person with their own story and challenges. I will customize the call to fit your specific needs. My…
 
There is a reason why you feel exhausted all the time. Your energy is being sucked right out of you. And this is costing you everything- your relationship with friends and family, your career, your finances, and most of all, your happiness. When you're in an unhealthy relationship, you are caught in a vicious cycle I like to call the "Good Bad Ugly…
 
Everyone on this earth is capable of finding real, lasting love, and everyone deserves it. But not everyone knows, REALLY knows and feels in their heart that they deserve it. This episode is for YOU if: You're always waiting for him to text you back You're constantly trying to mold and bend into what you think he wants you to be You have trouble re…
 
Healthy boundaries are becoming more and more of a popular topic these days. If you didn't grow up in a family with healthy boundaries (and many of us didn't) you wouldn't even know what boundaries look like or that you could have them. Having boundaries is important because it preserves our energy. If you're constantly letting people in who suck a…
 
If you've been following this podcast for a while, chances are by now you've come to terms with the fact that your ex was a Gumball Guy, or the guy you're dating now is a Gumball Guy (and if not, go back to the beginning!) :) But now, as you enter back into the dating scene, you might find it difficult to trust your own judgement. You might have a …
 
We've all heard the advice before to "take it slow" so that we don't get hurt again. When a guy says this to you, or when you're thinking you need to do this with a new guy, it may seem sensible, but it's really not. It's another form of manipulation and control. It's saying, "I haven't done the work to heal from my past relationship, and so I'm go…
 
The Cosmo magazines of the world will tell you you're being ghosted because you're too clingy, or revealing emotions too soon. Guys will tell you they just forgot or don't like to be on their phone all the time. But is that really the case, or is there a deeper, more psychological reason? A guy from an online dating app texts you, "Hey, what's up."…
 
Wow, episode number 40!! Thank you all so much who have been listening from the beginning, and those who have joined along the way. In this episode, I get really vulnerable with you. I want to let you in on what I've struggled with along this journey of coaching and sharing the Gumball Love concept. As a challenge to you AND to myself, we need to s…
 
One of the girls in the Back to YOU Academy had an amazing revelation that I HAD to share with you (without sharing her name, of course!). She was about to be going on a date with someone she met online. And thought, as she was doing the make-up, the hair, choosing the right dress..."Who am I really getting ready for? Why am I dressing up and putti…
 
Are you ready to date again? You just got out of a toxic relationship...cheers to you! So you might be tempted to jump right back into dating. In this podcast episode, I will explain why it's important to wait until you're ready, how to get ready, and how to know when you're ready. For full show notes: https://www.gumballlove.com/blog/dating-again-…
 
Episode 37 Girl, I see you. You've worked hard. You got that big promotion. You're making your own money. You made that big achievement. But all of the material items and success and achievements will never fulfill your soul if you don't know your own worth and value. Just because you look good on paper doesn't mean it's only a matter of time befor…
 
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