show episodes
 
We're couple therapists and messy humans bumbling through our own relationships everyday. We met through our training and practice of Relational life Therapy. Between us we have more than 40 years of experience holding hard relational questions with our clients. We’re going to bring those questions here. And together we’re going to take a stab at answering those questions.
 
A collection of weekly Connectfulness® Conversations with therapists and and change-makers. we examine how to create deeply restorative ripples of change within ourselves and with the world around us. Connectfulness® begins with the Practice Of Being Seen. Hosted by Rebecca Wong, relationship therapist, mentor and consultant to therapists and change-making professionals .
 
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show series
 
We talk about over functioning and under functioning in this episode. This is a common dynamic in many partnerships. We tackle invisible work, emotional labor and gender roles. Yes we will weigh in on patriarchy and talk about relational health and power dynamics. Do you know how to function in your relationship in a stance of sharing equal power w…
 
Perhaps you’re one of many who feel a sense of dread and grief as Mother's Day nears. These feelings may be related to the attachment injury Kelly McDaniel, LPC has termed “Mother Hunger.” It’s a term that helps women name the unspeakable pain that emerges from early childhood trauma and it’s lasting impact. Kelly McDaniel, LPC returns to the podca…
 
We don’t shy away from the complexity that is human beings in this episode. Buckle in for an extended episode, we’ll dive deep into the science and into what relational skills will work. How can we take in things when they are good? What does compassion have to do with calming my feelings? Can rage really be a bid for connection? We talk about many…
 
In this episode, we’ll explore humor, the stories we tell ourselves and how fast those stories lead to reactivity. Do our stories about what’s happening in our love lives help us or cost us or both? Let’s explore how to find our stories, come into relationship with them and be more vulnerable and close with each other. Plus, we’ll cover compassion …
 
Our society is constructed to benefit White people, whether they're conscious of it or not. The “norm” we’ve inherited centers an oppressive and privileging system when it comes to equity and power. And it plays out in relationships... In this episode, Francesca Maximé joins us to explore how interracial partners can embody anti-racism in their rel…
 
In this episode, we talk about Boundaries and so much more. Do we absorb too much? Or is nothing getting through? If our Boundaries are in place, we’re able to be curious and see the deeper needs under our partner’s behavior. You’ll hear us learn more about each other and model curiosity, rather than defensiveness. And we review one of our favorite…
 
Why do we say yes when we don’t mean it? Do we know our own answers? Can we be vulnerable and can we allow our partner to be vulnerable? This episode is chock-full of skills: not saying yes when we mean no, making direct requests, not demanding, speaking truth, using psychological boundaries and creating your own boundary images, differentiating be…
 
Defensiveness in relationships is normal and something all of us experience at one time or another. In this episode, we discuss the things that could be behind that defensiveness. Are you communicating with your partner in a way that is coming off judgmental or attacking? Is your partner feeling hurt or scared? We explore the common root of defensi…
 
Can we go deeper with love languages? Your hosts have 3 different views on how helpful love languages are and we discuss it with no holds barred and collaboration. Today we focus on skills that come out of this space: directness, making agreements and meta conversations. These are advanced skills for any couple. For those who don’t know what “The 5…
 
Neuroscience will bring compassion to us all! Let’s learn what the brain does and what to do in response to the brain doin’ what it does. We’ll be talking about learning to watch our minds and bodies in real time. And we’ll be hitting these topics: Relational Health + Compassion + Equal Worth + Right Responsibility- boom! Cool Quote From The Episod…
 
This is one of the most common questions we get in our offices. If my partner really knew me wouldn’t they get me? This episode we consider being known, grief, checking our expectations and finding vulnerability. We’ll be trouble-shooting ways to get met and go deeper with your partner. Cool Quote From The Episode: “We need to speak up...and say th…
 
My colleagues Jules and Vickey and I just launched a new podcast and I am super excited to share it with you, so I'm sharing it here!! In this trailer, we're sharing the story of how we met, how we've come to work together, how this podcast came to be, and what you can expect in future episodes. We're calling this podcast Why Does My Partner (or Wh…
 
My colleagues Jules and Vickey and I just launched a new podcast and I am super excited to share it with you, so I'm sharing it here!! In this trailer, we're sharing the story of how we met, how we've come to work together, how this podcast came to be, and what you can expect in future episodes. We're calling this podcast Why Does My Partner (or Wh…
 
In this episode, we’re tackling the question “Why does my partner lie to me?” We look at both sides of the issue: "why might I be lying" and "what might I be creating that leads my partner to lie?" It is always a good idea to look at your own behaviors as well as your partner’s. We also talk about the importance of accountability. And we introduce …
 
Whoo-hoo! This is our inaugural episode of the Why Does My Partner podcast and we are super excited to share it with you. We're your hosts, Jules, Rebecca, and Vickey. We are all couple therapists and we met just before (literally) the pandemic shut down while training in Mexico with our mentor, Terry Real. In this trailer episode we're sharing the…
 
This episode uses the question “Why Does My Partner Load the Dishwasher Wrong” to look at how couples handle the differences between them and ways to get curious rather than defensive. We discuss what goes on for us when we respond in unhealthy ways and how to flip our responses into relational health. Share your questions with us at: whydoesmypart…
 
Today’s guest, Dr. Rick Butts, cofounded the Healing Our Core Issues Institute (HOCII). We discuss how the nature of the child —to be imperfect and human— is linked to how we humans come to know ourselves as we mature. We explore the woundings, teachings and adaptations that shape us in our formative years and become how we present in the world. An…
 
We need relationship in order to survive. If you were raised without a secure base you likely learned early on to modify yourself. In this episode I am talking with Kelly McDaniel, LPC, NCC, CSAT, author and psychotherapist, about the complex trauma of chronic loneliness and how to heal from the toxic stress of disconnection. Kelly McDaniel’s first…
 
So often in the journey of relational healing we discover parts of our Selves have been disowned — the parts of one's spirit which allow spontaneity and imperfection and cultivate abundance and joy. In this episode we explore the creative process as a way to bear witness to these parts of Self. My guest, Chris Zydel, The Wild Heart Queen, works wit…
 
Sexuality is a part of who we are and we all deserve to learn about it in a way that is safe, comfortable, and judgement-free. Learning about positive sexuality is transformative for individuals and society overall. My guest, Elizabeth Greenblatt, strives to support young people develop the skills to navigate their sexuality in a healthy and fulfil…
 
We’re excited to bring Juliane Taylor Shore, LPC, LMFT, SEP (AKA Jules) back to the podcast — last time she joined us, on episode 18, Jules introduced us to the brain science around how to stay relational when our protective systems are activated during times of chaos, like these. In this episode we’re talking about how your relationship can help y…
 
In this episode, La Shanda Sugg and I talk about a generational healing, a topic that truly affects us all. And if there is one message we want you to walk away from this episode with, it’s that generational healing is possible! Trauma can be caused, and passed down generation by generation, in many ways. Often we didn't even notice because it beca…
 
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