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Depression is a serious mental illness that affects most of us at some point in our lives through our friends, loved ones, or personally. Lots of folks have some experience of depression during their teen years, but what if that depths-of-the-ocean kraken never went away? What if there was an ongoing lingering threat that you could slip back into i…
 
Jazz Goldman is back to talk about an orgy they invited me to at which we got to have fun sexy times. We talk about best practices, how we sometimes suspend best practices, and not being too hard on ourselves. I process my feelings about having chronic illness and about not noticing an allergic reaction that happened to me at an orgy. While you can…
 
Wicked is back to talk about sexual scripting, relationship anarchy, butt sex, and friends with benefits. We talk about people not being need fulfillment machines, how damaging scripting can be, and how liberating writing our own scripts is. Wicked helps us dispel myths that relationship anarchists are always non monogamous - she’s a perfect exampl…
 
Sophia Sky invites me to her bedroom to podcast about the subjectivity and intimacy of art. How does are create intimacy between the art subject and the viewer or for that matter between viewers? We’ll try not to be too all over the place but… no promises. We also talk about Sophia’s passion for art and sexuality that has in part led her to become …
 
If you'd like to do so and can afford a few bucks, come support me at patreon.com/VictorSalmon and throw as little as one dollar my way. If you're able to do so, it all helps no matter how small. It's very appreciated. Thank-you. First, how much COVID-19 is out there? https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/covid-19-claims-4-more-lives-in-b…
 
Today wicked is back to touch on career and gender stuff. What does success or failure look like in the mind of a depressive? How does career play into that? Gender also plays an interesting role in depression as it informs your sense of community and isolation. Body language is powerful, and isolation in small communities can be fatal. Outside of …
 
I’ll begin with an aside about a cat. I mention rescue cat 27705 who is a foster kitty with black and white tuxedo colouration and an incredibly sweet disposition found malnourished and abandoned on a wooden pallet that has gained 50% of its body weight in under two weeks with me. Still underweight and almost 11 pounds, this cat plays fetch, is eas…
 
Jazz Goldman and I talk about organizing sex positive and sex-on-premises events. We talk about our love of these events and why we volunteer to do that work. We share our experiences in sex communities including the burner scene. I do use the word “literally” in this episode to mean “figuratively” which is now definitively one of the definitions o…
 
Hi, Intimates! We talk with Yana Skorstengaard again today about her thesis in art therapy. Her research reveals great results from programs for incarcerated folks. Programs involving art can create the kind of self expression and other communication skills necessary for functional relationships. Outside of programs within incarceration, there are …
 
This session discusses group sex while Jazz Goldman and I are walking around at the Reifel Bird Sanctuary feeding ducks and getting accosted by gaggles of geese. Nerdy aside - Occasionally those gaggles would form a skein or two, the word for a gaggle of geese in flight. Of course, both gaggles on the ground or water and skeins in the air can be ca…
 
Happy Two Year Anniversary of Intimate Interactions Podcast! This is the current episode I'm publishing to my patreon feed that I decided I'd publish to my free feed early! ^.^ Remember all of my content publishes free but as a thank-you to my patreon subscribers, I offer early access to great content. What does it mean when you feel a sense of int…
 
My soon-to-be 70 year old father visited from India and had a trans-ischemic attack while here. He’s been sick for about four weeks since he got here and was sick before he came, so I felt a sense of urgency to get to know him better, document for my nieces, and to ask what questions I had. He speaks well and often chooses only to highlight predomi…
 
Jazz and I drive to the Reifel Bird Sanctuary for a fun day out and have a conversation about their experiences in group relationships like the Triad they were in during college. They discuss the needs of the individual versus those of the group (a la Spock, or if you prefer, the Three Musketeers or … insert maybe whatever French philosopher that i…
 
Happy New Year, Intimates! It’s 2020, the year where “partying like it’s 2020” will likely mean turning in around 10:30 pm so you feel rested the next morning. Just kidding - it’s the year of hindsight, and even with perfect hindsight, people stay up later than they say they want to and experience more motivation to commit to hard things the furthe…
 
Do deterrents work? If you make a deterrent awful enough, does it stop crime? Has capital crime ended where the death penalty exists if you don’t count executions as murders? Yana, a criminology researcher from the University of Ottawa is here to help us unpack these things. Since it’s six figures per prisoner per year in our current system, and if…
 
My father visited from India recently. He turns 70 in 9 days. With chronic fatigue, heart attacks, and trans-ischemic attacks - they’re like ministrokes - I felt a sense of urgency to connect with him. I invited him to podcast about his childhood as it seemed like a good way to learn more about him, and I think it’s important to humanize a parent a…
 
Because giving anal sex is my primary form of penetrative sexual expression, it became essential for me to make it easier and pleasurable for others. Coaching someone who is receiving anal sex is more an art than a science, but there are certain skills that are useful. You can also coach yourself while you’re receiving anal sex, something I do freq…
 
Life Interrupted. I think that’s the title of the chapter of the memoirs I’ll never write about 2019 and 2020. The novel coronavirus has probably produced more global anxiety, depression, stress, and grief than just about any other single event I can think of right now in my lifetime. It has brought so many in the global community together in our i…
 
Today, Yana Skorstengaard, a masters candidate at the University of Ottawa in criminology discusses how we relate to crime and are intimate with the criminal punishment. It has the power to come into our lives and take everything we have. We trust that it will be just and fair with us even though we know it isn’t like that with lots of other people…
 
Trauma is everywhere, even in power exchange. Relationships can be traumatic, and total power exchange is no different. Healing can take years and adversely affect relationships, kink, and sex. When processing trauma, I think it’s important to work through any mistaken beliefs first, and to come to different conclusions about yourself before moving…
 
What cultural change would improve the health and wellness of your society? Today we chat with Yana about cultural ideas such as retributive or punitive justice - Yana is a criminology researcher after all - and discuss social leadership. When I’m gaming and see anti-social or harmful behaviour from a teenager, what responsibility do I have to inte…
 
This month we’ve focused a lot on two alternating threads in the show: more talking about sex, and more talking about the relationship to oneself. As I try to tackle harder concepts and try recording more outside and in less ideal environments, I’m continuing to experiment with different kinds of show ideas. Let me know what’s working for you and w…
 
Anal sex is one of my favourite topics because I enjoy giving anal sex, and have recently been attempting to enjoy receiving anal sex with limited success. Jazz Goldman is also a veteran of giving anal sex to others but they have recently become quite successful at enjoying receiving anal sex. We discuss our bodies, our strategies, and our outcomes…
 
“If you say mental wellness three times, some asshole in a ‘Live, Love, Laugh’ t-shirt will appear and tell you to go outside.” - sign at BitF 2019 Relationship to the self is critical when considering mental wellness. Often we think of that relationship being purely a mental one, but many things comprise one’s relationship to the self including sl…
 
Hi Intimates. Today we’re talking with Yana, the criminology researcher, about why it’s important we start looking at issues like homelessness and the conditions in prisons. If we each of us is to be safe in our quarantine from COVID-19, the sooner we reduce the number of new infections, the better. So, let’s talk about why keeping ourselves safe m…
 
Alternative relationship spaces like polyamory groups or kink organizations sometimes struggle to see when Racism is going on in the space because it tends to be more subtle than traditional violence. Jazz Goldman is a mixed Black-Jewish American, and I’m a mixed British-Indo Canadian. We bring our mixed experiences of our heritages to this convers…
 
Note: This episode published a day early so it could be in time for Halloween even though it's focused primarily on Diwali. As time goes on I'm going to continue to try to rush themed episodes to you in time for the appropriate dates but may not always be able to do this. Hey Intimates. I wanted to do a Hallowe'en episode because it’s such a popula…
 
Race is a complicated topic to discuss, because there are quite a few misconceptions out there. I want to tackle how white a lot of alternative spaces are because of how inhospitable they can be for people of colour. This episode discusses what races are, how eugenics impacted ideas that we internalize today, the supposed scientific basis of eugeni…
 
Person on the internet: “Wow you’re so mature for your age.” Other person on the internet: “Thanks, it’s the lifetime of depression and self-isolation.” Intimate Interactions is about relationships and intimacy. I can’t think of a more important relationship than the one to yourself. Some educators talk about self relationship from the perspective …
 
Have you ever heard of non monogamous people having “comet” partners? Today we’ll discuss what that means and how it’s different from long distance relationships. Jazz Goldman and I talk about what a comet partner relationship might look like between the two of us. We talk about sustainability, and make a distinction between being community-oriente…
 
Maita is a men’s coach living in Victoria who teaches healthy relationships between men. We talk about emotional labour, exercises you can do with your friends or at home, strategies with intimate partners, socially acceptable ways men share intimacy with other men, and about the challenge of restoring intimacy between men if they’ve received gende…
 
Relationships can be thought of as strategies for meeting our human needs with each other. They can also be thought of as the sum of our interactions. That might sound complicated - and it is! That’s why it’s much easier to think of them in cookie-cutter, pre-set ways. We are given scripts and categories. This is what “friends with benefits” looks …
 
Welcome to the second session of the Tillie-Victor Friendship Project - or TVFP. We’re recording outdoor sessions documenting our friendship as it progresses. This is a continuation of our first session and as such it was accidentally recorded on our H1N Zoom recorder as a low quality MP3, but we solemnly swear to be up to higher fidelity good in f…
 
It’s my pleasure to talk more with Jazz Goldman today, an intersex human, friend of mine, ocassional sex partner of mine, and professional cuddler for cuddlist. Suffice it to say they have a really informed and interesting perspective on intimacy, sex, and gender. Jazz is also a mixed race person like me, except instead of being British and Indian,…
 
Today I begin an experimental piece called the Tillie Friendship Project. Inspired by Audio Smut and The Heart podcasts, I got an H1N Zoom mic, the newer version of what Kaitlin Prest started with when recording Audio Smut. Seriously, if you’ve never heard it, go listen to it - it’s still ground breaking even if she and I disagree on the possibilit…
 
Jazz Goldman and I just went to Pride. Jazz is a friend of mine, an ocassional sex partner of mine, a professional cuddler for cuddlist, all about the performing arts, and all about community building. Jazz and I have in common being some flavor of gender non-confirming and also being mixed race humans. In Jazz’ case, they are a Black Jew, and in m…
 
Kat’s back for another session. This time, we talk about their experience of people pleasing and worthlessness. Kat describes the ideal of being a “wantless angel” that spends their time satisfying other people’s needs and wants. It may sound awful, but sometimes I think the body can be a traumatic place to be and focusing on someone else can somet…
 
Kris Perry is back to talk about parents, trauma, fear of intimacy, and the boy from the Wendy’s parking lot. She came to the recording session directly from his house. I mention my partners in this session. I talk about the importance of trying again and again when it comes to getting hurt in intimacy. My position is you can’t choose not to be hur…
 
Stephanie is a woman of colour who has been an engineer and an accountant. She identifies as asexual or possibly a demisexual, and an ASMR content producer - though none happen in this episode. She has a passion for travel and politics. She brings up the supposed deplatforming of Alex Jones, her thoughts on Ben Shapiro, gun rights, and antinatalism…
 
Lisa and Paula are back again: two monogamous, vanilla, heterosexual women of colour in their 40s. They’re successful entrepreneurs and mothers and wives who met during their MBA programs at UBC. This session turned into suburban housewives curious about my lifestyle without any desire to change their current lives presently which is great. These k…
 
How’s your mental wellness doing today? Have you been getting enough self care lately? I’ve been somewhat sick and am probably going to cough through this episode. Our conversation this episode will focus on mental wellness in relationships and how trauma can disrupt intimacy. Our guest, Chelsey Blair, is an already-published Social Work undergrad …
 
Lisa and Paula are back: two monogamous, vanilla, heterosexual women of colour in their 40s. They’re successful mothers, wives, and entrepreneurs who met during their MBA programs at UBC. They were super interested to talk more about the results of their struggles with Sexual Shame, which we talk about mostly in their first session on Intimate Inte…
 
Today we meet Chelsey, a person working towards a Social Work degree at UNBC. She is a cisgender white queer femme who is anarchist leaning and is currently working as one of the humans pioneering conflict resolution strategies in a survivor support role. She’s also currently doing a lot of side projects. She is recently published as a feminist und…
 
This Valentine’s day, I bring you a special interview that I got with Reid Mihalko. Normally new episodes publish on Patreon first and come out for free 9 months later. This episode is an exception and will air for everyone on Valentine’s day. If you find the quality better than my free episodes, maybe try out Patreon for a month and see if you lik…
 
Most of us have probably experienced burnout. It can look like feeling tired, empty, sad, resentful, angry, used, or hurt. It can run from the first signs of resistance or hesitation around an activity to full, impassioned non compliance. When we play on edges like we do in BDSM sometimes or play with really intense feelings like emotional sadism o…
 
content warning: we briefly discuss blood play Sometimes when folks talk about a gold standard of service, they talk about anticipating the needs of someone else which is problematic to say the least. Getting it wrong is only human as no one is perfect. Accepting our imperfection is hard enough but asking someone how you can help can require courag…
 
Content warning for those of you who struggle with white supremacy, racism, stripping, toxic monogamy, shame...I feel like whenever I tackle really hard topics this entire intro is basically one big content warning. We continue the interview with Robyn Beatch today. We mostly don't talk about the KKK and spend a lot of time distracting ourselves ta…
 
Van Dwelling is for some a matter of necessity. For others, it’s a choice. What is it? Exactly what it sounds like: living in your vehicle. In some communities, housing is quite expensive. In some lives, being functional long enough to produce the employment opportunities and or funds to pay rent is quite challenging. Some organizations count van d…
 
Irene is newish to kink. She started a sex and feminism blog where’s she's currently an avid blogger (thedesivibes.com) and hopes to be an educator one day. For a South Asian woman, that's not really a thing for our community yet for a variety of reasons, but I'll let her speak her own truth. Over her journey into kink, she has learnt a lot. Now it…
 
Olivier creates community by creating events. Often those events involve playing various kinds of games. When he first came into the Vancouver kink scene, he created the Vancouver Geeky and Kinky munch which he has since moved on from. Today, the VG & K as it’s known is a thriving event on its own where people get together to play board games. Whil…
 
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