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Episode Notes Where Sherlock Holmes is a jerk to everyone he talks to. Books like this make me fussed. We also learn that my new dog won't stop secreting away turds in my house. Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/the-hound-of-the-baskervilles-9780451528018/9780451528018 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle…
 
Episode Notes The story of a gruff, hard-nosed, racist gumshoe trying to solve the mysterious murders that surround a homophobic therapist. Everything is terrible. We learn: Ben's got a new job! Gretchen likes the color purple more than red and blue combined Glen's got nothing important The bar/restaurant have waiters with the BEST names Go read it…
 
Episode Notes The story of a group of weirdos that are just looking to get killed. I mean, seriously, they all have sing-alongs with someone playing a guitar. Come on... Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/31-horrifying-tales-from-the-dead/9781540800541.Watch some of Drac's movies!:https://www.amazon.com/s?k=drac+von+stoller&i=in…
 
Episode Notes We thought it would be 'fun' if we got drunk while we reviewed the last Twilight book we'll ever read- but in the end it's just two hours of witnessing the decline of two grown men.We learn: Glen got a dog Ben was once trapped in a Lyft with a bee Gretchen gave us tongue-twisters to test how drunk we were The spirit of an angry drunk …
 
Episode Notes An octopus finds new purpose in life by forcing a human to be it's baby. Go on, read it for yourself: https://www.amazon.com/Wont-You-Neighbor-Otherworldly-Collection-ebook/dp/B08W25PVYQ And visit the Authors site to learn more: https://sarinadorie.com/ Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing …
 
Episode Notes The story of a spider who wants love, but in the end has to settle for 'good enough'. Go on, read it for yourself:https://www.amazon.com/Wont-You-Neighbor-Otherworldly-Collection-ebook/dp/B08W25PVYQ And visit the Authors site to learn more:https://sarinadorie.com/ Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by co…
 
Episode Notes 10 more chapters where, honestly, nothing happens. Isn't there anyone in Stephanie Meyer's life to tell her when to stop re-writing this thing? Promos: Uncited PodcastFrom Words to Ideas We learn: Glen has a real bedroom Ben spent his weekend killing dragonflies like a psychopath Gretchen has found the most adorable bird We learn the …
 
Episode Notes The story of a space hornet that just wanted to mate, and sorta gets what he wants. Go on, read it for yourself:https://www.amazon.com/Wont-You-Neighbor-Otherworldly-Collection-ebook/dp/B08W25PVYQ And visit the Authors site to learn more:https://sarinadorie.com/ Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by cont…
 
Episode Notes We decided to make 'Midnight Sun' the last Twilight book we read, and it is just as deflating as all the others. I don't know why we expected a copy/paste rewrite of the first book from Edwards perspective to be any better. We learn: Glen's neighbors hang out in his yard while his trees get taken down Ben doesn't have much to say abou…
 
Episode Notes The story of a simple man carrying on the tradition of taking on the role of becoming the new Guy Fieri. And there's a giant Burrito that rotates in the sky spewing flavor on the inhabitants of 'flavor town'. We learn: The turds at Ladies Fright Podcast do an impression of me. It's both flattering... and enraging. I have to work tomor…
 
Episode Notes Would you think that preventing a woman from knowing that she has a fatal illness is a sign of a loving relationship? Apparently everyone in 1970 thought so. And everyone agreed that Harvard is the most important place on earth. Also? referring to women as 'cheese' was acceptable too. We learn: Ben met the ACTUAL George Washington ove…
 
Episode Notes A hypocritical Nora decides that they need to kill themselves. And after being called a chicken, Joe is all in. Then they don't when it's inconvenient. The story has almost nothing to do with cocaine. We learn: It's finally raining, which is great for my lawn, but blows for a guy without a working dryer. New cats pee EVERYWHERE Ladies…
 
Episode Notes Misunderstood and whiny, a man decides he'd rather kill himself than find a new line of work or get his kids to like him for who he is. My cat likes me It's fathers day, and I made my kids watch Ponyo with me My dryer is still broken My oldest wants their own segment on my show where they make fun of me Promos:Drunk TheoryLet Me Tell …
 
Episode Notes We read what is basically grandma porn for the idea of being trapped on an island with other peoples babies. It's disturbing and shines a light on the fantasies of a very lonely author.We learn: Ben doesn't get the joke when Glen plays the Ratchet Book Club promo Glen can't have the "Summer of '89" with his friend while they're both u…
 
Episode Notes This week I check in with an author I've read before by reading about greedy teens who search for a haunted ouija board, and a greedy family who battle aliens to keep an anal probe.We learn: Drac has fallen off the map, and I'm worried about him I've coined the phrase "Glenergy" to describe what makes my show so successful My kid like…
 
Episode Notes What starts out as a boring date for Jada at a minor league baseball game, turns into the most graphic MLM Jada has ever peeped on. Just in time for Pride month! This turned out to be REALLY descriptive. So, consider this your warning for adult content. Go on, read it for yourself:https://www.tiffanyreisz.com/bringing-the-heat Visit h…
 
Episode Notes Our man is tricked into thinking he had a successful escape, then he fights his nemesis, and decides that rain is key to his conquering the desert. Oh, and there's no romance. The warrior-maid is hardly a factor in this story. Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/warrior-maid-of-mars/9798731661713 Visit https://nuzzl…
 
Episode Notes We wrap up the last half of a really depressing, highly inspiring and emotionally draining book.We learn: Glen might go back to the company that laid him off Ben knows which foot he favors Gretchen teaches us that some birds sleep while they fly Glen seems to enjoy making young people feel uncomfortable Go read it yourself:https://boo…
 
Episode Notes I decide to declare war against the Ladies Fright Podcast, because I TALK NORMAL. Then the 'short story' I'm reading is the longest thing on earth. I play the Ladies Fright Podcast promo and go to bed. Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/books/warrior-maid-of-mars/9798731661713Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. …
 
Episode Notes Ben and I read the first half of 'Speak' and we are dreading the second half.We learn: Glen's broken dryer is almost a non-issue at this point. Ben's wears glasses just to be able to see Glen better. Gretchen gives us fun feather facts that blow our mind. Glen chose NOT to flirt with women at a bar because it's been a long day and he …
 
Episode Notes Well, I'm back on this book again. We learn that David gets a new job. He gets a sweet pad in London. And Mr. Dick was right, there's more to the the creeper hanging around Miss Betsey. Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributi…
 
Episode Notes A heart-warming story about how working hard can make all your dreams come true. About the Author Sarina Dorie has sold over 170 short stories to markets like Analog, Daily Science Fiction, Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Orson Scott Card’s IGMS, Cosmos, and Abyss and Apex. Her stories and published novels have won humor cont…
 
Episode Notes What do you do when wanda over at the 'From Words to Ideas" podcast gives you a story that is impossibly sad, and the turds at the 'Ladies Fright' Podcast make fun of the way you talk? You hold back the tears. You never show them your feelings. Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/books?affiliate=12554&keywords=the+little+…
 
Episode Notes What do you do when your plane crashes and you're trying to get home and some kid starts talking about a fussy flower on his planet? You listen, damnit. You LISTEN. Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/books?affiliate=12554&keywords=the+little+prince Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by cont…
 
Episode Notes Who would have thought that the first Y.A. book would involve fights and hair grease? We didn't, but we know all about it now.We learn: Glen gets hit on by a nurse, but is too stupid to realize it. Ben's boss quit her job! But she's still working there part-time... Ugh. Gretchen's bird this week salivates. It salivates and ungulates i…
 
Episode Notes What would you give up to finally be popular? Would you give up your pony? You’ll learn what sacrifice means in this episode. Go on, read it for yourself:https://www.tor.com/2010/11/17/ponies/ Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house…
 
Episode Notes David STILL can't get over his man-crush, and Dickens clearly doesn't like small people. All this and a neighbor with a vague sexual issue make for a really long chapter. Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their Tip…
 
Like Taylor Swift, Kafka seemed to love writing about his failing relationships. Especially if he thought he was being cheated on. The romance corner book this week is 'Heart on a Leash' by Alanna Martin/ Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9788090217140 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info. Support Nuzzle House by contr…
 
I decided to take a break from 'David Copperfield' this week because I miss feeling inadequate and un-cool around teens. Lucky for me, Shirley Jackson got me covered. The romance corner book this week is 'The Kiss Quotient' by Helen Hoang:https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/566902/the-kiss-quotient-by-helen-hoang/ Go on, read it for yourself:h…
 
We review a the second half of a teen book where the protagonist has caught on to all the '90s references, and dominates it.We learn: Glen debates lying about his vaccine reaction. Ben boss quit her job! Now the race is on for Ben to quit before her. Gretchen teaches us about a 'mud chicken'? And a knock-knock joke about butter that kills. Glen has…
 
We review a the first half of a teen book where the protagonist starts to catch on that all the '90s references are a little too heavy-handed.We learn: Glen's life is falling apart. Ben still hates his job, and his smoldering hate only intensifies when he has to attend going away happy hours for people who found a way out. Gretchen doesn't get ben …
 
In this chapter, we learn: David is thinks he's nailed acting older than he really is... until he meets Steerforth's butler, Littimer. Steerforth take off to the boat-house and interrupt the news that Ham and Emily are engaged. Steerforth charms everyone - but hints at being a jerk by saying that Emily is good-lookin and she shouldn't marry a 'knuc…
 
David can't stop being in love with Steerforth. Nothing will stop this obsession. He goes to Steerforth's house and learns that he's a brat that threw a hammer at a woman's face, and his mom put him in a low-class school, just so he could be the king there and feel important. Even calling David "Daisy" as a crappy nick-name wont change his mind. Th…
 
We review a romance novel that had promise just off the title alone. But, sadly, the sex wasn't as 'hot' as 'Double Dirty Mountain Men'.We learn: Glen has nothing to say except that he's still unemployed... by choice. Ben still hates his job, though he's getting pastries delivered to his desk now. Gretchen goes back to what works- birds. This week'…
 
David finishes school and is trying to find a career so he's going back to where the actions- Yarmouth. He makes his rounds to say goodbye to everyone and heads to London and runs into friggin' Steerfourth. Damnit. This week's romance novel is 'Lost, Found, and Forever' by Victoria Schade:https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/611513/lost-found-a…
 
We suddenly get the narration point of view of David when he's really, really old for some reason. He thinks back fondly of all the women he was hot for. One, a woman in her 30s who eventually marries an old man for his money. He tells all this to Agnes... a romance-option that has been right under his nose all along... The romance corner book this…
 
Mr, Dick starts hanging around David's school (which someone should have been concerned about) but he's so lovable that even Dr. Strong hangs out with him. Uriah Heep invited David over to his mom's house, and the drill him for information- there's a LOT of unflattering things written about his hands, how he 'writhes' and his glistening nostrils. M…
 
We decide to read a choose-your-own-adventure book in real time. Is it a good idea? Does it make for enjoyable listening? The answer is is up to you.We learn: Glen has nothing to say except that he's dieting with the VERY expensive Noom app. Ben also has nothing to say Gretchen changes it up by making her segment about raccoons. Ben decides we need…
 
David goes to his new school and meets the headmaster, Dr. Strong and Annie (a much younger woman) that Dr. Strong is married to (eeew).David and the Wickfields agree that he'll to live with them for the remainder of his school year.David STILL hates Uriah Heep, who tells David he just wants to be a lawyer. The romance corner book this week is 'All…
 
Right when David is making BFF's with Mr. Dick, he's forced to live with ANOTHER family while he goes to school in Canterbury. This family has a kid with red hair which apparently is unacceptable for David. Also: I'm still trying to find information about the 'batman suit' Charles Dickens had in his 'secret room'. The romance corner book this week …
 
We're 14 chapters into this book and FINALLY someone is NICE to David. Mrs. Betsy goes off on the Murdstones and it's about damn time. The romance corner book this week is 'Quiet in Her Bones' by Nalini Singh Go on, read it for yourself:https://bookshop.org/a/12554/9780486436654 Visit https://nuzzlehouse.com for show info.…
 
We wrap up a book about trying to get a baby safely through a flood. There's giants and fairy's for no reason.We learn: Glen has nothing to say except that he's suffering from seasonal depression... and unemployment depression Ben also has nothing to say Gretchen cheers Glen up by making Ben do owl sounds Ben seems to finally agree that there isn't…
 
David heads to Dover! Of course he has to sell most of his clothes and sleep on haystacks, but that's just normal for travel. He finally finds his Aunt, and we end the chapter not knowing if he will stay there permanently because she's obsessed with donkeys for some reason.The romance corner book this week is 'One Snowy Night' by Patience Griffin G…
 
David says goodbye to the Micawber family, now free of debt, who've decided to head to the heartland. He decides to run away from the bottle factory and see if he can stay with his weird aunt (who's still pissed he's not a girl). He tries to get some 'long legged' kid who's pro child-labor to deliver his trunk to the post office but gets robbed ins…
 
David is forced into child-labor at Mr. Murdstones liquor factory. He's set up to live in a house with a sweet family who have no money and have to sell everything they have because they're in debt. THEN they all get to live together for free in 'debtors jail'. Why bother owning a house you can't afford if you can just go live for free in this 'deb…
 
After the funeral the Murdstone's fire Peggoty then let David go to Yarmouth to get creepy on Emily. Mr Barkis also gets creepy on Peggoty by floating around uninvited and not really speaking. But it works and he marries her. David goes back to the Murdstones and they send him off to work at a counting house in London. The romance corner book this …
 
We dive back into the exciting world of angels, dust, and multiple dimensions this week. Except that this time it's just about a kid with a boat who works at a bar. We learn: Glen hurt his coccyx Ben's bonsai tree isn't doing very well Gretchen has a lot of 'sheeps in love' jokes this week Ben can't complain about his job anymore... legally Glen ca…
 
David is home for the holidays and finds out his mom has a new baby. After hearing that the carriage guy has the hots for Peggotty, she suddenly starts arguing with Clara for no reason. Then it's back to everyone talking about the baby. When Mr. Murdstone hears that the baby has David's eyes, he suddenly starts arguing with Clara for no reason. Dav…
 
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