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Host Jack Kammer, a long-time activist, author, social policy researcher, jail guard, parole & probation agent and journalist, knows how important it is for men and boys to have as many opportunities for happiness, fulfillment, acceptance and understanding as women and girls do. So far — for 60+ years — the discussion has been about ensuring all those good things for females. Now we have this podcast. We're talking about what we want and need, what stands in our way, and how to get over, und ...
 
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Gender norms still (and unnecessarily!) limit boys, says journalist Lisa Selin Davis, author of Tomboy: The Surprising History and Future of Girls Who Dare to be Different. Which may not be an accident, since gender norms (as we know them today) were essentially created to ensure that male children grew into straight, non-homosexual men. “The way w…
 
Nefertiti Austin’s son was 6 yrs old when she realized he’d “have to learn that his race and gender could get him killed,” she writes in Motherhood So White: A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting in America. That’s not a lesson white boys have to learn, and that’s one consequence of living in a country where motherhood is so white. As Nefertiti p…
 
Sports and masculinity have long been intertwined. For a long time, boys and men were the only ones who were allowed to play sports. Athletic fields and locker rooms were seen as places where boys became men. We’ve seen where that can lead. We’ve seen little boys & teenagers told to “man up!”, “rub some dirt on it” and play past the pain. We’ve hea…
 
Doris Elisabeth Fischer was born in Germany and now lives in Denmark. She was trained in Germany as a social worker and for more than fifteen years she worked with Bert Hellinger, the developer of the Constellation technique of working with families. She is the author of Unravel Entanglements With Love, in which she offers case studies of her Famil…
 
Boys and girls both have teenage struggles. Both fathers and mothers struggle to be the best parents they can be. Psychologist Cameron Caswell specializes in helping parents understand what their kids need in difficult times and why they need it. And for this production of Male-friendly Media Dr. Cam agreed to venture a little bit out of her wheelh…
 
C. Cie came to value empathy for men by seeing how its opposite destroyed her courageous, loving father. She doesn't want to see that happen to anyone ever again yet she sees it happening to men all around her every day. Integrity -- including a dose of edginess -- might be just what you need if you've been finding your relationships with women doi…
 
Gayle Kimball, a Women’s Studies professor at Cal State Chico, was one of the twenty-two women Jack interviewed in 1993 for his book Good Will Toward Men (St. Martin’s Press, 1994). Twenty-eight years later, they talked again about progress – and the lack thereof – in overcoming gender-based stereotypes and the limitations they impose on human heal…
 
“Toxic Masculinity” host Shari Lewison-Frisch had an informal chat and agreed to appear on each other's shows. Jack was a guest on Shari's show first. On this episode of “Good Will Toward Men,” Shari was Jack's guest. The reaction of Shari's audience to her interview with Jack was the main topic of discussion. To say the least, we still have some i…
 
Helen Fisher, a noted biological anthropologist, was one of the twenty-two women Jack interviewed in 1993 for his book Good Will Toward Men (St. Martin’s Press, 1994). In that interview, the idea of patriarchy was the main topic. In this new conversation, Helen spoke of the significance of women's achievement of jobs and careers. Jack asked about t…
 
ADHD is diagnosed in boys much more than girls. Under-diagnosis can also be a problem. Medication is controversial. Boys' gap in reading proficiency is generally ignored, while the smaller, largely resolved gap facing girls in math and science continues to command attention. Psychologist Norinne Russell, herself a parent of two kids with special le…
 
Yes, it’s possible to have a kid and a life. A life beyond babies, boys, and ballgames. A life that includes your hopes, dreams, and passions. It’s normal (and healthy) for your career, marriage, and friendships to shift and evolve when you become a parent. But you don’t have to give your all to parenting. It’s okay (and healthy!) to reserve some t…
 
Kevin Hofmann is a diversity and inclusion speaker and trainer. He was adopted by a white minister's family after being born to a white mother and black father. He has a unique perspective on being male in Black and White communities, having lived in both. Our conversation demonstrated that race, very understandably, is much more salient than sex t…
 
Which ON BOYS episodes were the Best of 2021? Photo by Olya Kobruseva from Pexels The answers may surprise you! 5. Highly Sensitive Boys with William Allen By age 5, William Allen understood very clearly that he was different. People told him to “man up” and that he “needed to be tougher.” Their words and reactions to his emotions told him, in no u…
 
ON BOYS listeners really want to know how to keep boys safe online. Which makes sense, given that the internet is a portal to all kinds of free and easily accessible porn — as well as conspiracy theories, disinformation, and peer pressure. In January 2021, we asked our friend Amy Lang to help us address this question, and she did not disappoint. Th…
 
From early adolescence Bill Ranshaw was deeply immersed in pornography -- and the compulsive masturbation that often goes with it. Despite devoting untold hours to porn and masturbation, Bill had an Emmy award-winning career as a documentary film producer and director. But he found that life was dull and unfulfilling. Eventually, Bill saw the conne…
 
How do we raise next gen men — men who can thrive in the 21st century? “When you’re on a playground, you can’t yell, ‘Hey, Tommy, cut that hegemonic masculinity out!'” says Jake Stika, co-founder of Next Gen Men, a Canadian organization dedicated to changing how the world sees, acts and thinks about masculinity. Parents, educators and boys need con…
 
Sexually active women have multiple reversible methods for preventing conception. Sexually active men have only two: condoms and withdrawal, neither very good. Many of women's contraceptives involve interfering with or modulating hormones. Men's reproductive physiology provides promising targets for non-hormonal methods. That's where Male Contracep…
 
Dr. Jon Lasser believes we all have a role to play in expanding boys’ opportunities. The Man Box and Boy Code still limit and shape boys’ behavior. And although there are plenty of books and TV shows that encourage girls to step past gendered boundaries, there are far fewer resources for boys and their parents. “As a feminist dad, I found a lot of …
 
Justin Trottier has a long history in the pursuit of social justice, a pursuit that brought him inevitably to the social injustices visited upon men and boys — though at first they were unspoken among his cohort — the proverbial elephant in the room. Justin is the co-founder and now the National Executive Director of CAFE, the Canadian Association …
 
Jack Kammer says boys are affected by sexism too. Boys and girls who engage in the same exact behavior may be treated very differently. And yet, when we fail to acknowledge that fact, we contribute to the gaslighting of our boys. Because the truth is that males and females both experience advantages AND disadvantages related to their sex and gender…
 
Did you know that boys may be more susceptible to respiratory viruses than girls?Society tells us that boys are strong and tough, but the truth is that males are biologically fragile -- from before birth all the way through to death. Male fetuses are more likely to be miscarried than female fetuses, especially during stressful times. Men tend to ha…
 
"Highly Sensitive Man" is not just what a few men happen to be. More and more that phrase is being recognized as a good label for one of the primary personality types and is estimated by psychologist Elaine Aron to apply to about twenty-percent of men... and women. But we think of sensitive men and sensitive women very differently, don't we? Today …
 
Video game addictionGoogle that term and you'll get 95 million results -- and the first one is for an addiction treatment center.But is video game addiction really "a thing?" More importantly -- what can parents do if they think their kid's gaming is out of control?Step one, says Chris Ferguson, a psychology professor and co-author of Moral Combat:…
 
Doris Elisabeth Fischer was born in Germany and now lives in Denmark. She was trained in Germany as a social worker and for more than fifteen years she worked with Bert Hellinger, the developer of the Constellation technique of working with troubled families. She is the author of Unravel Entanglements With Love, a book in which she offer case studi…
 
Before he started The Tyler Merritt Project or created his viral video, Before You Call the Cops, Tyler Merritt was a confused, young black boy trying to make sense of all the expectations and stereotypes swirling around him."I wish somebody had really sat down with me as a young person and simply said, 'Hey, Tyler, you're going to make a lot of mi…
 
Hans Hageman is a man of integrity and purpose. As a child he lived with his parents and brother above the Exodus House, a residential drug treatment center for men founded by his father in East Harlem. He was Chief Counsel to the United States Senate Judiciary Subcommittee on the Constitution. He was a narcotics prosecutor for the New York City Di…
 
Is wilderness therapy a good choice for troubled boys? For boys who are self-harming, self-medicating with alcohol or drugs, or in trouble with the law? Is wilderness therapy the solution for families who have tried everything and are desperate to help their sons?It can be, says Jane (name changed at her request, to protect her family's privacy) an…
 
According to the World Economic Forum and its 2021 Global Gender Gap Report, “Another generation of women will have to wait for gender parity... Closing the global gender gap has increased by a generation from 99.5 years to 135.6 years.” What is the Global Gender Gap, how is it defined, how is it measured? Professor David Geary is an expert on sex …
 
Need some practical parenting strategies to help you manage hitting, backtalk and disobedience? Amy Williams has solutions. Amy is a school counselor who also helps overwhelmed and stuck parents. And let's be real: we all feel overwhelmed, stuck, and unsure at various points during our parenting journey.Giving ourselves grace is step one to moving …
 
When you think of a person who is passionate about bringing attention and redress to male gender issues, chances are good you don't think of someone like Blair Daly. And after you hear from Blair, maybe you'll be a little more willing to hear -- and maybe even seek out -- what other male gender issues activists have to say. Maybe you'll have a few …
 
Hunt, Gather, Parent, by Michaeleen Doucleff, shares ancient wisdom that's still relevant today: the key to raising healthy, happy, helpful humans is to engage them in work of the family and community. That's a truth we seem to have forgotten in our collective desire to optimize our kids. Our intentions are good, but our actions -- signing our kids…
 
If we really want to end intimate partner violence -- rather than, say, score hundreds of millions of dollars in federal and philanthropic money for feminist social programs and activist salaries, or, say, promote sexist stereotypes that hobble men's advancement toward forms of gender equity that might displease some women -- is there any hope of d…
 
Teaching boys to drive can be exciting,scary.and intimidating.Boys are more likely than girls to speed, drink while driving, and take chances when they have passengers in the car."I think he thought driving was going to be super intuitive," says Carole, mom of Lucas, a newly-licensed driver. "When we started, he was like, 'Whoa, this is not at all …
 
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