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How Am I Still Alive?! is a True Crime and Comedy podcast hosted by Marci and Jess, two cynical cat moms with an inappropriate thirst for murder and all things crime. In each episode, the girls deep dive into some of the most grisly of murders and most ghastly of crimes. Their sense of humor is the only thing keeping them from crumbling to the overwhelming dread and horror of these cases. The reality of these crimes and the possiblity that it can happen to any one at any time leaves us const ...
An interview-style podcast that explores the connection between us all. I think we're all sitting one seat apart right now so I'm taking the middle seat to ask the questions and draw us closer. I know that if we listen and connect, we'll find the magic in the middle seat.
This week, it is our 100th episode and these bitches are at the same ole' shit with a casa that has been rotting away in Jess' filing cabinet. Jess has a sleepy baby in her lap as she she covers the case of the wannabe serial-killer, Miranda Barbour, and her Junior High Dumpster Babies. Marci has no interest in your Nega-dick and we porn genre jump…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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This Episode is Brought to You By Distractions
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Oops, this week, Jess did it again and adopted a convenient store parkimg lot drug deal kitten and Marci fumes over the unsolved murder of Jeannette Depalma. This case looks like Satan stuff and someone picked up some bad acid. Sit back, pour a glass, and get a witch but we do not condone underage drinking for kittens.…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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We're Gonna Get Sued... Allegedly [JonBenet Ramsey Drunk Dive - Part 2]
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Happy New Year, Everyone!!! It is about FREAKING time 2020 was over and we are closing out this shit-show of a year with Part-2 of a even more atrociously handled cold case of JonBenet Ramsey's murder. Jess will blow you to be in your cat cult while Marci takes it to the floor. Sit back, pour a glass, and accept this empty white zinfandel bottle as…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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This Isn't the Christmas We Wanted, But It is the One We Deserve [JonBenet Ramsey Drunk Dive - Part 1]
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Merry Christmas you spooky Bitches! This week, we complete our season of the "John"s with a different disasterous take on the name, JonBenet Ramsey's Murder. Get drunk with us as we kick off this 2-part drunk dive in a sea of pedophilic dicks and albino raccoons. Sit back, pour a glass, and don't question what I do in my free time.…
This week, Marci the strange and spooky child unravels the case of John George Haigh. We have our priorities as we tackle a 1.5 Liter bottle of wine made from the blood of basic white bitches and live in sin. Sit back, pour a glass, and get me a large one, ole' boy, because we need a new place to melt people.…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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Marci Took It to the Floor and John Took It to the Crawlspace [John Wayne Gacy Drunk Dive- Part 3]
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In our final installment of the John Wayne Gacy Case, Marci continues on with the trial and execution of John Wayne Gacy while Jess just keep drinking because, to be honest, we are a couple of messy bitches. Sit back, pour a glass, and pay no attention to the dead man behind the curtain because we demand Lazer Titties!!!…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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Daddy Never Loved Me [John Wayne Gacy Drunk Dive- Part 2]
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This week, I dunno words and the girls cover part 2 of the John Wayne Gacy Drunk Dive. Drunk Marci blows through Gacy's creepy clown act while Jess is a C#$%-a-puss. Sit back, pour a glass, and for the love of god, YOU'RE NOT BISEXUAL, YOU ARE JUST FULL BLOWN GAY, SON!!!!By Jess and Marci
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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Daddy Issues [John Wayne Gacy Drunk Dive - Part 1]
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This week, this episode is brought to you by day drinking and heavy duty antidepressants because the girls are in another drunk dive into the notorious serial killer, John Wayne Gacy. Armed with a breakfast of champions and plenty of wine, the girls work through part 1 of this series, dealing with some serious daddy issues. Sit back, pour a glass, …
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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JUST LEGALIZE SEX WORK ALREADY! [LISK - Part 2]
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This week, Ghost Marci suffers from an anal charley horse and Jess actually goes on a rant as they close out the case on the Long Island Serial Killer (LISK). The girls debate whether a single serial killer is adopting Pinterest trends over time or if it is a white zinfandel pissing match between 2 active serial killers. Sit back, pour a glass, and…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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Just Saying... Correlations. (LISK - Part 1]
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This, week, the girls munch on "brookies" and lose their audience while they open part 1 of the Long Island Serial Killer investigation. This case starts out of nowhere with an arguably unrelated murder yet, Marci is convinced she knows he did it and has sat on the hill she will die on. Either way, we got 2 liters of wine and are good to go. So sit…
This week, Marci got something wierd for us as she covers the Pied Piper of Tucson, Arizona. It always starts off illegitimate as we reach peak FUGLY with a face only a mother could love. Sit back, pour a glass, and proceed with caution, ya bastard, because it is the charming ones that always get away with murder... LITERALLY!…
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Box of Shame - Drunk Crucible Watch Along
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Hey guys! This month we decided to try something completely different and shame ourselves by having a drunk viewing of "The Crucible" (1996) and drooling over "Daddy" Day Lewis. Feel free to go to our website where we will post a video to watch along or feel free to watch your own version of the movie with us playing along with you. Thank you all f…
Happy Halloween Everyone!! We end our spooky-season on covering one fo the most ridiculous slew of court cases of America with the notorious Salem Witch Trials. Jess and Marci read off names for over an hour and rant how the ergot poisoning theory was BS. Sit back, pour a glas, and join us for our Puritan picnic at the hanging tree.…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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Drink Whenever You Feel Disturbed... [Albert Fish - Part 2]
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This week, Jess needs a drink and Marci needs a light Dahmer-style bleach cleanse as they dive into all the kinks and "-isms" of Albert Fish in Part 2 of this case. Jess has to venture down the rabbit hole again which leaves Marci taking it down to the floor. Sit back, pour a glass, and we're gonna need a bigger bottle because you need to take a dr…
This week, Jess starts off a 2 part series on the original "Boogeyman", child-serial killer Albert Fish, as part of our Spooky Season. It's getting spicy in here as Jess fantasizes about dirty handymen and Marci endorses the piss-nipple for pedophiles. Sit back, pour a glass, grab a bucket and a mop because when there is nothing better to do, just …
This week, Jess, the Were-bitch, covers the lesser known mass hysteria trials of the Werewolf Trials throughout Europe from the 1500s-1800s. Jess makes the horrific realization that murder is more palatable than dick cheese and Marci has to poop. Sit back, pour a glass, and fucking France is always drunk because this is what fuels our fire.…
This week, Marci, the wench that bakes bread, tells us the tale of the infamous Red Barn Murder. This tale is full of pig thievery (but no fuckery) and ends in Ole' Timey murder woodstock. Sit back, pour a glass, and dont' trust your gut, trust your uterus.By Jess and Marci
This month, Marci drags Jess and us down the rabbit hole of Haunted Etsy dolls and items as part of a Spooky, Halloween-themed Box of Shame. It takes a lot of Jazz hands to get through this list of spiritual adoption and, mind you, we are dealing with the Bud-Light of mediums. Sit back, pour a glass, and settle in for the demon rave because this ho…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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An Extraordinarily Conspicuous Dendrophile
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This week, Jess launches a foot pornography side business and describes the case of Matthew Hoffman which is basically a Pinterest fail in home fall decorating. Marci draws the line between cute and concerning because, at some point, we need to draw the line with tree-rape. Sit back, pour a glass, and grab a squirrel-sicle because I thought the tre…
This week, Marci starts off our Spooky Season grungey and gruesome with the case of the Hammersmith Ghost. Jess patrols the street with her weapon of choice (a wheel of cheese) and Marci introduces us to an Ole' Timey Gay Batman. Sit back, grab a glass of wine through the glory-hole, and, for the love of all that is ghastly, LISTEN TO YOUR WIVES!!!…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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20-Year-Long Moment of Insanity (Katherine Knight - Part 2)
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This week, Jess continues on with Part 2 of comically fucked up case of Katherine Knight. Marci is prepared to clockwork-orange all the psychopathic murderers while Jess ponders how a "wizard-pus" could compel these men to such fatal mistake. Sit back, pour a glass, and we can handle more mental trauma so just show us the pictures.…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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Incest Is Not What Is Best (Katherine Knight - Part 1)
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This week, Marci's Coot-Coot clenches in fear as Jess begins the first half of the case of Katherine Knight. Looking through the childhood memories of Knight, the girls can conclude incest is not always best and endure what would be an optimum Freudian Field Day. Sit back, pour a glass, and male-seahorse-it because knives do NOT belong in the bedro…
This week, Marci takes a twist and goes PRE-Victorian on her poisonous rampage with teh case of Elizabeth Fenning. Jess gets Polish-chick-from-Chicago vibes as this case delivers one of the most controversal trials of the early 1800s that is enough to rile up Charles Dickens. Marci confirms that diarrhea can come from many sources, not just your ho…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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Crockpot of Corpses (Daniel Lewis Lee and Chevie Kehoe - Part 2)
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This week, Jess continues on to part 2 of a white supremacist family renunion in federal court with the cases of Daniel Lewis Lee and Chevie Kehoe. Marci acts as advisor to murder while Chevie threw it to the Levy with murder and racketeering. Sit back, pour a glass, and don your BS SWAT gear because your brain goes to dark places when you're drunk…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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In Normal Cases, You Do You, But Here, DON'T DO YOU (Lee and Kehoe - Part 1)
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This week, Marci puts way too much thought into innappropirate things as Jess covers criminal acts commited by Daniel Lewis Lee and Chevie Kehoe. Are you bored? You may just need some white supremacy and this episode is a loaded dumpster fire fueled by it. Sit back, pour a glass, and speculate wildly what would you eat in an independent white supre…
This month, Box of Shame is teeming with shame as we cover various stories with questionable decision making. From the potential release of Van Houten, to discrimination in Columbia, to the sentencing of STEM school shooting, and Florida Man doing what Florida Man does, it leaves the girls shaking their heads in disgrace. Sit back, pour a glass, an…
This week, Marci goes medieval on yo' ass and we get familiar with the case of Elizabeth Bathory, AKA the Countess of Blood. Jess is digusted by the incest-y lineage while Marci much rather die by "horse". Sit back, pour a glass, and put your peen in a place of honor because we are bringing in the medieval murder squad.…
This week, Jess brings us back to the lawless 90s with some good ole' Unsolved Mysteries cases (pre-Netflix). Segways galore with Marci blowing out her B-hole as Jess describing her own terrifying train ride all while trying to channel Peter Thomas. Sit back, pour a glass, and be a hostile bitch because this could be any of us.…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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HUMAN PINATA!!!! (Drunk Dive- Richard Ramirez Part 2)
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This week, the girls finish off their drunk dive with the ULTIMATE HUMAN PINATA!!!! Childhood PTSD makes it's presence known and it is not just a little, but ALOTTA racist as Ramirez finishes his satanic, drug-driven killing spree. Sit back, pour a glass, strap in and put on a diaper because we will see you in Disneyland.…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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Serial Killing Childhood Cocktail (Drunk Dive- Richard Ramirez Part 1)
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This week, we are double popping because the girls are back recording in the SAME ROOM!!! Marci celebrates with bringing us one of her drunk dives in the infamous serial killing spree of Richard Ramirez. His childhood is just a recipe for serial killer tendencies enough to make you tipsy with terror. Sit back, get a glass, and grab yourself a cool …
This week, Jess covers the epitome of wasted potential that is NOT Marci with the equally stupid and equally guilty, Leopold and Loeb. Marci gets extra Murder-y this week, dishing out mistake demerits as Jess' spirit breaks. Sit back, pour a glass, and if you can't get away with murder, stop trying to be Supermen and Be Batman!!!!…
This month, the girls are doing things a lil differently and touching upon the cases that have brought the Black Lives Matter movement back to public attention with the police-involved murders of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. The girls have a discussion on police brutality and regulations and we invite our listeners to join the discussion. We ha…
This week, drunk and illiterate Jess and Marci dive into another Victorian poisoner case of the Black Widow Sisters. Turns out Victorian-era people were emo AF and you know when someone starts to repo a body, it's time to Irish goodbye your way outta the funeral. Sit back, pour a glass, and don't drop the mic, drop the bodies!…
This week, Jess covers one of the most heinous murders, not THE MOST which at the Candyman Level, of Houston Texas with the case of Karla Faye Tucker. Jess makes a vulgar desertion of feminism while Marci skips the "Jewish" section of the Bible. Sit back, pour a glass, and Bitch! You Illegitimate!!!By Jess and Marci
This week, the girls open up a funeral parlor specializing with crafting with corpses with the mysterious case of the Katarzyna Zowada body-suit. Jess gets all Silence of the Lambsies up in here with her shitty Polish pronounciation while Marci survives on sheer dumb-luck. Sit back, pour a glass, and I love you Nicholas Cray.…
This week, it's like we are a real podcast or something because Marci covers a listener request for the unusual case of the Papin Sisters. Marci and Jess encourage the corruption of children with this twisted murderous tale of two sisters their really lousy employment status. Sit back, pour a cocktail of mental illness, and don't get all incest-y o…
This month's Box of Shame is finally escaping the media-hounding Coronavirus. The girls address a racist citizen's arrest. A Florida predator requests a piss-nipple in exchange for freedom. We finally get a break in a cold case thanks to the miracles of DNA testing. Ink Master's contestant gets charge with murder after driving while intoxicated. We…
This week, Jess brings us to Uganda, Cnada to cover the viral murders commited by Johnson Aziga. Marci aggressively educates us on safe sex all while Jess skirts around a shy-nut situation. Sit back, pour a glass, and stay with me on this one...By Jess and Marci
This week, Jess' vibrator commits seppuku and Marci dives into the Victorian Era version of Dr. Evil with the poisonous serial killing of Dr. Cream. This case is comically ridiculous but is successfully solved through some good ole' police scissoring. Sit back, pour a glass, and never trust a fart because we move along so much in this episode we ar…
This week, the girls bring back an episode that you never knew you missed because they were too wasted during it's original recording. Jess slaps Marci in the face with a peen of crime with the case of Todd Kohlhepp. It is a free-for-all murder-park all while proving nothing good ever comes from Florida. Sit back, pour a glass, and don't question w…
This week, Marci calls in the friendly-neighborhood exorcist to cover the infamous first case of "The Devil Made Me Do It!"-murder in the States. The Devil goes down to Connecticut as Marci non-Rona-related lays dying and Jess judges unnecessarily. Sit back, pour a glass, and realize you just have mice and your kid's a dick.…
This week, the girls do things a little differently and, instead of covering the usual murderous plot, Jess goes Full-Metal-Jacket and covers the lesser-known, Alaskan Triangle as part of the Alaskan two-part series. This three sided polygon of mystical fuckery makes the Bermuda triangle look like a Disney-cruise vacation. Sit back, pour a glass, a…
This Month, the girls are feeling Rona-tastic and are covering some of the more "intriguing" cases to roll through their feeds. Articles this month bring us to mass burials as the girls start digging a pit for the nonbelievers, advise to cover your upper lips even if your lower lips are fully exposed, discuss how Sweden is possibly Dar-winning at C…
This week, the girls come at you with their first listener-requested case that brings us to middle-of-nowhere Alaska. Jess covers the unsettling details in a family vanished into thin air as Marci stresses the importance of not keeping meth in your homestead. Sit back, pour a glass, and always remember: If the light is on, someone is on the JOHN!!!…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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Some Guys Just Can't Hold Their Strychnine
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This week, Marci is a crotchety old man and taking us back to the 1800s to follow the poisonous murders of Dr. William Palmer. This is not Victorian-era erotic porn but rather a tale of a man getting cockburn-ed from commiting insurance fraud. Sit back, pour a glass (because this is harder sober) and remeber: It's not about being intelligent, it's …
This week, Marci has checked out of this podcast and into her safety sweater as Jess recounts the horrific suffering that Junko Furuta endured during her 44-day captivity. The girls have found THE LINE gain, and by R&R, we don't refer to rest & relaxation but rather robbing & raping because this isn't your typical after-school program. Sit back, po…
This week, join the girls on the Sesame Street of de-flowering virgins as Marci covers the Villisca Murders. Marci is just glossin' over Jess' emotional trauma while barely clining to sanity. Sit back, pour a glass, and go be a hobo elsewhere because either end is gonna kill someone.By Jess and Marci
Welcome back to Box of Shame for April 2020. As the world is ending from the coronavirus, the girls attempt to bring you some corona-free headlines. This month, the girls leaern Nicki Minaj is marrired to a sex offender, Ween-Steen gets what he deserves, an alleged murderer gets a quick extension of freedom before their trial, ICE facilities are st…
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How Am I Still Alive?!
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On the Creep Spectrum, He's Definitely a Kid-Diddler
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This week, things take a TURN as the girls ruin any last bit of Easter-joy you had left in this dystopia to bring you the sad case of the Lyons Sisters. Thankfully, years of existential dread had prepared Marci for this as Jess describes the heinous crimes of Lloyd Webber. Sit back, barter your toilet paper for some wine, and just slip in the tip o…
We hope you guys had a Happy, though contained, St. Patrick's Day! This week, Marci puts way too much thought into this week's murder as Jess takes us to Ireland for the case of the Scissor Sisters. There's no incest, it gets gross but not that gross. Sit back, pour a pint, and get yourlife together and grab a pair of pliers.…
