Jonny Smith and Richard Porter public
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Jonny has been listening to country music while Richard encountered some annoying aeroplanes. Also in this episode, drinking whisky like someone in a movie, why Chinooks are like kits with two bass drums, a confusion about George Benson's bed shop, why you never see people mooning or sitting backwards on kitchen chairs any more, and a discussion ab…
 
How Jonny lost his passport and ended up living in Frankfurt Airport. Also in this episode, the daftness of sheep, the even greater daftness of DJ Khaled, the problem with Aviator sunglasses, and what's going on with Freddie Flintoff's spectacles? Plus, Robert Plant car buying news, a censored story about a mystery rock star's terrible driving, and…
 
Jonny has been driving an amazing 1980s Ford with just one thing missing. Also in this episode, American podcast plum shaving promos, vasectomy memories, changing your wiper blades, a love of beading, smoking in cars with the windows up, the Lancia that looks like Norman Lamont, how to say spowaahtaaaaaaaah in Italian, the hilarity of MIDI music, a…
 
An amazing story from a listener has Jonny and Richard wondering what a sophisticated singer might have in her garage. Also in this episode, Monty Don's car theft gardening, a song that name checks The Smoking Man from The X-Files, the secrets of selling TV shows, an unexpectedly smutty classic car advert, awful scraping noises on the North Circula…
 
Jonny is distracted by a bargain-priced Audi A2 auction about to end. Also in this episode, talking to previous owners of your car, Bluetooth phone dramas, classified ads that give too much information, saying Cossie correctly, what Americans make of the Austin Metro, the delights of a cockroach Corolla, why Jonny's brother is the king of the snott…
 
In a special bonus episode Jonny and Richard answer some more listeners' questions. Topics include disappointing cars, 500 quid snotters, how to improve F1, explaining SPOWATAAAAH man, upsetting car company PRs, Christian's Koenigs-eggs, Jonny's resistance to multi-car insurance, what we think of influencers, and our favourite car journalists. Plus…
 
Jonny and Richard answer questions from Patrons covering topics such as their chosen BL car for life, dodgy car buying transactions, things that don't fit on lorries, the Sultan of Brunei's car key storage nightmares, stuff found in second hand cars, how they first met, and an awkward golf buggy incident. Get bonus content on Patreon See acast.com/…
 
Jonny has an idea for spreading a little kindness and Richard now lives in a noisy Kia neighbourhood. Also in this episode, vehicular Vocoders, unexpectedly good heel and toeing cars, racing driver yoga, Helmsman's mayonnaise, the Die Cast Donor, and once-a-year irritant Flant Flanstead. Plus, falling down a wormhole with the Knight Rider Historian…
 
Jonny has been driving the Peugeot 508 Sport Engineering while Richard has been having gin-fuelled thoughts about the GR Yaris. Also in this episode, conversational ticks, reading car manuals, the anti-corrosion warranty demands of early ‘00s Mercs, Porsche 964 purism, and what’s the point of the Cupra Formentor? Plus, Martin Brundle’s superleggera…
 
Jonny and Richard start this episode by paying tribute to Sabine Schmitz and Murray Walker. Later, talk turns to a Mercedes with knackered dampers in an advert, getting injured by a SEAT Marbella, the stern warnings from parents on foreign holidays, a camper top catastrophe on the Severn Bridge, driving on the wrong side of the road disasters, the …
 
Jonny has been mowing the grass and driving some new cars. Also in this episode, the exploding Megabus of rockets, splashing on the Brut, the great smells of summer, things you see from trains, the story of a lost GoPro camera, the perils of light coloured steering wheels, and how are animals still alive? Plus, thoughts on the VW Golf GTE, the Skod…
 
That chap you always see at real ale events. He probably has a mark 1 Discovery. Also in this episode, more on F1 drivers trolling track days, the badly advertised bounty of Gumtree, failing to address Peugeot's new logo, accidentally treading dog muck into your car, and Richard's dislike of the Mitsubishi Evo X. Plus, why the base-model Porsche Ta…
 
F1 drivers terrorising track days in totally unsuitable cars. Also in this episode, the stress of waiting for an MOT result, the relentless underachievement of the Smith and Sniff YouTube channel, commissioning bespoke supercars with ordinary shells, the dark world of Ulysses 31, having to explain the modern world to someone from the 11th century, …
 
Richard has put a deposit on a new family car, sight unseen. Also in this episode, Bruce Springsteen's cold hands, KFC translation mishaps, American car advert small print, trying to drive a ridiculously big truck, Ford's fake overhangs, ZF and Zeppelins, a bum-faced airship incident, enjoying spoken German, dressing like you listen to The Leveller…
 
Jonny and Richard have a new spin-off idea for Harry Metcalfe. Two, if you count Harry’s UK Garage. Also in this episode, earning money from storing pre-reg cars, getting called a ‘silly’ by a landlord, spotting a drunk ghost working in a West Country nightclub, and that time Richard saw a blimp, a stealth bomber and Chaka Khan on the same day. Plu…
 
Jonny tries to get Richard to go splits on a weird old car with glass doors. Also in this episode, Nights In White Satin, Jeff Bezos dropping off his resignation like an Amazon driver, the rank incompetence of Thomas the Tank Engine and Postman Pat, Covid vaccines that sound like crap cars, and why don't women email this show? Plus, the glacial dep…
 
Jonny and Richard compare notes on Toyota's new homologation special. Also in this episode, Tesla Model S and X updates, the minimalism of the Citroen AX, marking the passing of Rémy Julienne and John Ackroyd, and a smattering of listeners' messages. Plus, lemon curd, stunt weeing, Granada Designs, too many Corsas, and was Turkish John from school …
 
Richard remembers a neighbour with a weird car hole policy and Jonny endorses the dad ritual of pushing cars onto the drive. Also in this episode, the mid-engined Corvette coming to the UK, the USA formation Mustang crashing team, accidentally pitching an idea called Stunt Driver Ben Cock, bad fuel filler designs, and welcoming Euro dance act turne…
 
Richard remembers the time TV's James May had a travel tea disaster in his Land Rover. Also in this episode, Jonny's barnfind laptop, memories of Feu Orange air fresheners, horrors of rot-era Mercs, a weirdly low mileage Ka, comedy tax dodge cars and the story of the sour-faced old woman and the abandoned Honda Jazz. Also in this show, Richard has …
 
Jonny and Richard return for 2021 with chat about the Rolls-Royce Ghost, the Singer ACS, the new Kia logo, and a review of a book about secret Fords. Plus, the rubbishness of Lego Technic cars, the simple pleasures of a jigsaw, and an extraordinary story from a listener about the Ford Motor Company's comprehensive stash of jazz mags. If you're feel…
 
Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall? Recorded just before Christmas was cancelled, Jonny and Richard have a seasonal chat about a Network Q VHS smut collection, models of car that won't die, Horacio Pagani's ongoing Zonda hell, and the personal transport of Roy Wood from Wizzard. Plus, unsolicited facts about Land Rover Defenders, Next in-st…
 
Richard has spotted a strange design influence on a certain Vauxhall. Also in this episode, Jonny has been extracting a mystery car from a garage opposite Gino D'Acampo's house and Richard thinks Tom Selleck is a handy driver. Plus, eighties TV title sequence wormholes, Spender's Sierra Sapphire Cosworth, scuffing Mr GT-R's GT-R, unsolicited facts …
 
Richard lent Jonny a jacket, and Jonny used it to interview Romain Grosjean. Also in this episode, the joy of proper car brochures, the awfulness of British plates on American cars, the meaning of 'sherpa' mode on the Fiat 500e, and the madness of the original Toyota Previa. Plus, a very dodgy live stunt show and why this podcast needs a travelling…
 
Richard has a new book out and Jonny would like you to buy his merch. Plus, the location of that not-quite-realistic road you always see in TV dramas, running engines without any oil, giving your car a fuel present, falling asleep in a fake South Korean village, the perils of snow driving, and more about singers as car engines. Richard's new book: …
 
Richard and Jonny have a few things to say about the new BMW electric car. Also in this episode, unexpected baldness, radio DJs not looking how they sound, Jonny's vague memory of crimes, why Greased Lightning is rubbish and so is Eleanor, John Travolta's photocopied face, Robert Plant's car detailing tips, and getting rock stars to spec up your ca…
 
Jonny has been driving the Toyota GR Yaris but can only talk about it in code. Also in this episode, fat Stig driving a dumper truck, Richard's I-Pace struggling for breath, the secret of Jeremy Clarkson's success, car filming lingo, unexpected parachutists, a dumped Subaru, unusual minicabs, the melancholy of Practical Classics magazine, and how d…
 
Jonny remembers a nerve wracking TV try-out involving a Mercedes C63 and an unneeded can of Red Bull. Also in this episode, the 'I have never' game with cars, your ideal pair of BMWs, a car that sounds like a stupid Jim Henson puppet, a car that sounds like you're being followed by one of The Monkees, and Jonny's troubling story about a hole in the…
 
Jonny spots a rally legend having breakfast and manages to get into an embarrassing chat. Also in this show, Karun Chandhok power breakfast update, Tiff Needell's jacket epiphany, more news from Alldays and Onions, a Fathers 4 Justice S-type, Whitney Houston's HIAB adventures, a surprisingly nice-sounding V8, and we read out some of your messages. …
 
Jonny and Richard have been doing things at Goodwood SpeedWeek. Includes shambolic TV presenting, real life Jason Plato shirt hole action, Karun Chandhok's speed breakfast, car museum gang wars, influencers in Edwardian cars, coming up with your Bentley Boy name, and the despair of a TV producer looking after two men who are always getting a coffee…
 
Jonny has discovered a very strange Mazda. Also in this episode, Italian singer Almeratino, horrible Victorian toys, Tracy Chapman's actual fast car, gear selection mishaps, Terry Nutkins buying an Impreza, and some of your questions answered. Plus, Jonny and Richard have news about their role in this weekend's Goodwood Speed Week coverage. Goodwoo…
 
Jonny tells a strange story from the making of 5th Gear. Also in this episode, the sad fate of high-spec estate cars, shabby wraps for Ferrari FFs, what Del Boy would drive today, the wonders of the Citroen C15, Dua Lipa secretly selling used cars through her songs, the motorhome for the lonely, and why is Bear Grylls always soaking wet? Get bonus …
 
Jonny remembers meeting electric car maestro Mate Rimac, the possible future owner of Bugatti. Also in this episode, the perils of lunchtime drinking, the old man hats of Pebble Beach, and how Jonny and Richard got into this. Plus, some actual car talk including Jonny's experiences of a plug-in Transit and slant-backed Audi e-tron, the 'emocionnnn'…
 
Jonny has seen some new things on the road where he spotted a trouserless man in smart shoes. Also in this episode, Charley Boorman, Manchester insults, defence of disco music, updated Ranchofacts, and another mention of Macclesfield. Picture of Jonny in the GLC car, as mentioned in this show: https://shutr.bz/3bRRtts Get bonus content on Patreon S…
 
Richard says sorry to his car (and Jonny). Plus, a really nice Talbot Matra Rancho for sale - actually, TWO Ranchos for sale - and an embarrassing development with Richard's new neighbour and her tidy old Corolla. Also in this episode; Fred Dibnah, traction engines, Get Carter, bad driving and a shirtless crusty in a mkII Cortina. Get bonus content…
 
Jonny and Richard remember a couple of insanely cheap cars they've owned. Also in this episode; horrible trolley jack noises, heavy clutch injuries, Volkswagen passengers with 'mark 3 knee', and a trouserless man walking down the A43. Plus, Richard's new neighbours have a cockroach car and Jonny lives near a continuously smoking man with a bizarrel…
 
Richard has been given bad directions by James May and Jonny's kitchen is full of wasps. Also in this episode, Impreza 22B confusion, a strangely good value Sierra Cosworth, the American craving for diesel cars, and driving a modern tractor. Plus, do dogs know they're on holiday and are birds built like Renaults from the eighties? Oh, and sorry abo…
 
Jonny and Richard discuss the new Ford Bronco, car spotting in Norfolk and the spec of a Mustang special edition aimed at its core market; people who have embarrassing accidents leaving cars and coffee meets. Plus, the cars (and large acreage of linen) in the Netflix series The Last Dance. Get bonus content on Patreon See acast.com/privacy for priv…
 
Jonny's been urban exploring and Richard has some strong views about the Ineos Grenadier. Plus, love for the FJ Cruiser, sneaking into Longbridge, people who don't match their cars, fake military titles, Damon Albarn's whistly voice and Jonny's impression of a Discovery Series II at speed. This episode is sponsored by Adrian Flux insurance. https:/…
 
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