Sam Tielemans Lmft public
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The Couples Healing podcast is a resource to help husbands with porn addiction recovery and to help couples restore the trust and connection again in their marriage. The effects of porn addiction or sex addiction can be devastating individually and in the relationship, but with the right approach, men can learn how to stop watching porn, heal the pain it causes his wife, and rebuild trust again in the marriage. Each episode is designed to give you new insights, tools, and strategies to help ...
 
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When working to repair your relationship after the effects of porn addiction, learning how to stop fights and diffuse them is critical. The more couples fight, the more alone and disconnected they feel, and if you don’t know how to effectively come back together, the relationship continues to suffer. In this episode I share exactly how to diffuse a…
 
I was a teenager and had a hard time feeling love - from family, friends, and from God. I believed they loved me, I knew intellectually they did, but I had a hard time feeling it. For many people I work with who are affected by a pornography addiction, they have a hard time feeling and experiencing love because they don't feel worthy, have low self…
 
Many couples get the advice (or consider for themselves) that they should separate for a number of reasons.. Maybe there is too much hurt, betrayal, dishonesty, or fighting? But separation can have unintended harmful effects on an individual and a marriage, so in this episode I share the most important considerations before you decide about how to …
 
As men are learning how to quit porn, one of the most helpful things in their process is their ability to avoid slips. It's such a discouraging experience for both people when he ends up slipping back into old patterns. It affects the trust she has in him, it affects his confidence, and it feels like a big disappointment overall. In this episode I …
 
If the past continues to be brought up, it means that it's not fully resolved. Unless you address the hurt in the proper way, it's likely to continue to fester and resurface. In this episode, I share the specific framework to help couples resolve hurts so they can leave the past behind them without sweeping it under the rug. As men are learning how…
 
One of the most critical steps in porn addiction recovery is being able to identify your triggers. Without knowing exactly what's causing the addiction, you're doomed to continue to repeat the pattern over and over. Once you can uncover the core trigger(s), you can then actually resolve them so they don't continue to pull you back towards the addic…
 
We all are going to get our feelings hurt in a relationship, and in order for a couple to thrive and reconnect, we need to repair the damage done in the right way. In this episode I share with you the steps to apologizing in a way where the past won't continue to be brought up over and over again, and couples can move forward feeling like the incid…
 
When people have a hard time following through on creating a good habit or breaking a bad one, there's always a reason. In this episode, we dive deeper into the reasons why we don't do the things that we say we want to do, and I share with you some strategies to help you dissolve any blocks or barriers that have prevented you from being successful.…
 
When a pornography addiction first comes out, it can be overwhelming and shocking. So many couples need a place to start and need direction about what steps to take next. The effects of porn addiction in a relationship are far reaching and can be severe when it comes to the trust, connection, and closeness. In this episode I share a framework and a…
 
When it comes to bringing sex back into the relationship, one of the main questions that people have is “will that trigger him back into the addiction?” If men struggle with a porn addiction or a sex addiction, it can be difficult for a wife to feel comfortable with intimacy. There are a lot of fears and reservations when it comes to sexual intimac…
 
When trust is damaged because of pornography addiction or lying, it's hard to know when it's safe to open up and trust again. Knowing what to look for will help you to measure whether or not there's progress being made, and it helps him to know where to spend his energy in the rebuilding phase and gaining her trust back. For therapy with Sam:Send a…
 
Sometimes people start to lose the love they have for their spouse, especially as pornography addiction and betrayal trauma negatively affect the relationship. The good news is that if you know how to create, shape, and reignite love, you can rekindle it regardless of how long you've been together and even if you've gone through lots of rough patch…
 
The road to overcome porn addiction and rebuilding your marriage can feel long and painful. The sting of betrayal and the web of the addiction can cause people to lose hope and sight of a better future. I’m joined in this episode by TC Jolley, who is a strong woman who healed from betrayal trauma as a result of her husband’s addiction. Their marria…
 
When people want to make changes in their lives, create new habits, routines or put systems in place, but it can be hard to be consistent! In this episode I share some strategies that can help you to be successful as you create habits and get them to stick, without needing willpower or superhuman discipline. For therapy with Sam:Send an email here …
 
When a woman experiences betrayal in a relationship due to porn addiction, it’s normal for her wall to go up to protect herself. Without there being safety or security in the relationship, she protects herself from continued hurt and being impacted by the addiction and dishonesty. Sometimes women aren’t quite sure how to let the wall down and what …
 
So often a woman feels reluctance to be affectionate or have sex after there’s been betrayal due to pornography addiction or infidelity. She protects herself from getting hurt even more, so her guard is up. In order to help her work through her fears, men first need to understand what they are and then know how to help support her so she can start …
 
Triggers can hit us seemingly from out of nowhere, but using this tool can help you to identify and process through them successfully. Whether it has to do with a pornography addiction trigger, trauma trigger, or anything else that creates stress, overwhelm or anger. For therapy with Sam:Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcoupl…
 
Oftentimes, a big part of the check-in conversation revolves around whether he was triggered to watch porn or not.. The problem is that if he was triggered that day, her hearing about it can cause a negative reaction and feel like it undermines the progress that he/they are making. But transparency is important and opening up when he is struggling …
 
Healing from porn addiction and betrayal trauma can have overwhelming moments that can feel dark and lonely. But there is hope if you have one particular resource or tool to help you through those moments. In this episode I share with you the #1 tool to navigate moments that knock you down, so you can find the strength and hope to collect yourself …
 
How do you know if his desire for sex is rooted in pornography addiction or if it’s coming from a healthy place? Knowing this makes all the difference when it comes to reintegrating sex back into the relationship when the time is right. In this episode I share with you the #1 distinguishing factor and how you can use this tool to continue to make p…
 
Sometimes couples reach a stalemate when she thinks he's not doing enough to work on his pornography addiction and if he feels like no matter what he does it'll never be enough. There are a few different reasons why we see things like this, and in this episode I'll share with you what each person can do about it to keep making progress without thes…
 
Whenever there is a struggle with porn addiction, there's often dishonesty. And that is one of the most damaging elements to a marriage, but if you are going to eliminate it completely, you must understand the reason why it's continuing to happen. Lying is a symptom of something deeper, and once you discover it and get the tools to resolve it, the …
 
The road to healing can feel completely overwhelming, so I wanted to break down the process to overcome pornography addiction into just 5 steps. If you focus on these core components, then you'll achieve lasting freedom from porn addiction, and your relationship can heal and flourish. For therapy from Sam, send an email here for more information: s…
 
Most people want to feel connected to their partner after porn addiction, but the mechanics of how to do that can be tricky.. In this episode, I share with you what it actually looks like to build connection, safety and trust, and I'll share how to work through any difficulties that come up along the way. Want access to a free course I created for …
 
Sometimes we go through some very difficult and painful experiences.. And that pain can seem to follow us around and get triggered unexpectedly when we are reminded of the past. The same is true for experiences that are continuing to happen - they can hurt and cause us a lot of pain. With this strategy that I'm sharing in this episode, you'll disco…
 
So often people feel burned out on the path of trying to overcome pornography addiction and restoring the marriage... The reason why they continue to struggle is that they don't have a clear road map and aren't sure what specifically to be focusing on, or they struggle because they are trying and changes aren't visible. In this episode, I share wit…
 
So many people have a hard time wrapping understanding how he can say he loves her, yet still struggle with a porn addiction. The wife often feels like if he really did love her then he wouldn't be looking at images of others... But the reality is that there is a way for him to love her and still struggle, and in this episode I share exactly how it…
 
So many couples feel like they come to a fork in the road once a husband's porn addiction comes out – divorce and end the pain or stay together and be miserable... There is a third option though and so many couples take it and find that their relationship completely changes. So whether you're at the breaking point, or if you're feeling stagnant and…
 
Depression and anxiety can suck the joy out of life and relationships... but what if there was a long-term fix without needing medication? In this episode I talk about the actually causes of depression (not a chemical imbalance) and I share a powerful tool that can help you or your spouse eliminate it from their lives for good. Want access to a fre…
 
Defensiveness can be frustrating when you're trying to resolve a challenge in the marriage. The key is to understand exactly why the defensiveness is happening in the first place (and it's not because that person doesn't care..). I share what's at the core of defensiveness and a powerful strategy to break through it so you can communicate effective…
 
Therapist in the traditional recovery space will tell you that it takes 3-5 years to heal from a pornography addiction.. And it can take at least as long (maybe longer) for marriages to heal. I’m on a mission to let people know that there is a more effective way to overcome porn addiction and restore your marriage that doesn’t require nearly as muc…
 
Sexual intimacy is one of the most damaged aspects of a marriage after there's been betrayal from porn addiction. Yet most couples, don't know how to restore intimacy in a healthy way, navigate the triggers, rejection, and increase trust and desire. Listen in on an actual coaching session where I help a couple process through triggers and rejection…
 
Can you heal your marriage if he's still falling back into the addiction? What if there is abuse? And is it really safe to be doing work on the relationship early on? (Hint: it's not what you think..) I talk about each of these scenarios and help you thread the needle through how complex things can get when you're trying to heal and move forward. W…
 
There is a 6 letter word that MOST people identify with and they need to stop if they want to stop watching porn for good! So if your goal is to heal from addiction or trauma, avoiding this at all costs if crucial. Want to get in touch? I'd love to hear from you! If you want help healing addiction, trauma, and the relationship, you can get in touch…
 
It's true.. my wife HATES talking about how she feels.. (for real) And I know there are a lot of people out there who are married to someone who feels similar... So in this episode I explain exactly how I navigate it and still create a strong relationship with her. I give you a behind-the-scenes look into my own marriage with her with an undercover…
 
How can she know if he's telling truth? After she find out about his porn addiction, it makes her question everything.. Listen to today's episode to hear my thoughts and how you can avoid the dreaded back and forth of: Her: "I can't believe what you're saying." Him: "I'm telling you the truth." Her: "No, you're not." Him: "Yes. I don't know what el…
 
What should you do he is resistant to changing or fully committing to overcoming the addiction? The answer might surprise both of you. In this episode, he will begin to see that motivation isn’t as important as everyone says it is, and she’ll discover that there’s a lot more hope for change than she expected. >>> Get in Touch! >> Free Course…
 
If you want a stronger relationship, but have been told to focus on yourself instead, this episode will be your guide to perfectly integrating both aspects. Sadly, most couples are unintentionally neglecting one of the greatest sources of healing, and I want to show you exactly how you can start to tap into and get support from this resource. >>> G…
 
There is a false idea out there that "once an addict, always an addict," and it leads people to feel hopeless and afraid that they'll have to deal with this problem for the rest of their lives... It's not true though! In this episode, I'll share with you the key to permanently overcome the addiction, how to address it at the core, and what you need…
 
Every couple who is working to stay together wants the best possible chance of success.. Implementing just this ONE thing can drastically increase your chances of healing, so tune into this episode with Dr. Kevin Skinner to find out what it is. >>> Free CourseBy Sam Tielemans, LMFT
 
Sometimes it can be overwhelming to figure out where to start when trying to overcome an addiction. In this episode, Clinical Mental Health Counselor, Maurice Harker, shares with you an easy-to-implement process that you can begin today to find stability and direction as you move forward. >>> Free Course…
 
Most people try to distract themselves or avoid temptation in hopes that it will pass.. In this episode, Brian Brandenburg outlines one of his favorite, unusual methods that has helped hundreds of men respond to temptation successfully to prevent them from falling. >>> Free Course BelowBy Sam Tielemans, LMFT
 
Healing after the impact of an addiction is possible! And today we speak with TC, a woman who healed from the betrayal and pain of her husband's addiction, and they've come out on the other side even stronger! Listen as she shares the #1 thing that helped them succeed. >>> Free Course BelowBy Sam Tielemans, LMFT
 
Having trust is the foundation of healing a relationship after the impact of a pornography addiction.. But did you know that most people miss a pivotal trust-building activity? To find out what it is, make sure you listen to this episode where Geoff Stuerer, LMFT, shares some critical information about how to being healing and rebuilding trust. >>>…
 
Do you want to find stability and direction amidst the chaos of a pornography addiction and the trauma it creates? Most people struggle for years not knowing how to overcome addiction, repair the damage it does in a relationship, and finally move forward with this problem behind them. Instead of relying on old traditional approaches with a 90-95% f…
 
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