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Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone return with a few cast surprises and a completely different tone of movie than the first one. Give this one two tries at least. You might love it more if you see it again. Yes, we know. This isn't near as silly and bonkers as the first one. Yes we know that they recycled pieces from the first one, namely the mus…
 
Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone team up in arguably the best/worst knockoff in film history and arguably Cannon Pictures most fun and most accessible project. Hashtag shenanigans to come. Campy, cheesy, corny, and whatever C words you can come up (no not that one) fit here. While clearly being an attempt to ride on the financial coattails of I…
 
Despite it's own best attempts to keep it down, like its terrible VHS cover and misguided title, this western with vampires is an absolute must-do and instant classic. Can we finally have peace with the bloodsuckers? So the premise here is that vampires have been sent into hiding and chose a small town in the west called Purgatory to sit out the ye…
 
It's a road trip movie with a cast of psychopaths through zombie infested forests, cannibalistic tribal villages, eclectic owners of mansions, and kittens who live in grandma's tummy. Rough to view in places and absolutely hilarious in others. Viewer beware - this is advanced class stuff. This movie comes with two major warnings: if you're burned o…
 
It's Evil Dead part III (only in Italy) and has absolutely nothing to do with it. It also has nothing to do with Hoff being Hoff nor Linda Blair being Linda Blair. Nor does it have to do with a plot that makes any sense. Nor does it have to do with being enjoyable. Witchery (or La Casa 4 in Italy - thus the sequel to Evil Dead) is the baffling tale…
 
Most will see this as a Monkey's Paw retell but it's really and truly just a recut of Teen Witch but without all the singing and dancing and then they made it so much crappier...crappier than Teen Witch. Yup. Some movies are prime for knocking off, right? See the endless list of Jaws and Conan movies from late 70s and 80s. See any Roger Corman movi…
 
A NATO team of the least qualified sea-men (giggle) take the Beatle's submarine down to the depths of the sea and find some icky monsters, hungry starfish and love. Of course they do. So some might call the Rift a Leviathan and Deep Star Six knockoff, but we see this as much more of an Aliens knockoff, which becomes its fatal flaw. The plot is just…
 
Two cops find love in each other's egos, while attempting to clear their names from a villainous plot to take over the world's salted caramel industry. Stallone and Russell team up for one of the raddest buddy cop dumb-dumb rollercoaster. It's shenanigans. This episode originally aired in January of 2017.…
 
An old villain from Mitch's past comes back to enact revenge by.... having him get married to his one true love? With a cast of Baywatchers this size, and a plot as dumb as it is, this has got to be one wild ride, right? Well.... Sato (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) comes back from season 2 of the Baywatch TV series, to get revenge against Mitch and Hobie f…
 
This week we dive into the Le Petit Huey/Starlight candy debate, a welcome to Patreon supporter Clauzy and his watch recommendations, Sam gives Jackie "the hook" and then takes on soap (again?), reviews of Phantasm II & III, Journey 2, Return to Oz, the final Tales of the Baywatch, and El Chupacabra. Check out Teen Samurai's YouTube channel for som…
 
Nic Cage goes on a deep quest to prevent his own hiring decision from ruining his plans to get super-rich. Along the way he confuses us with poorly written treasure clues, crazy eyebrows, word-association and flaunting Jerry Bruckheimer's watch. National Treasure is arguably the most "blockbuster" movie ever made. It's filled with EVERY trick in th…
 
A team of undeclared researchers go on a dig in the middle of the desert only to discover a secret tunnel that leads to America's greatest secret. But if they'd only gone through the IKEA, they could have saved a bunch of time.Truly bad film's greatest secret itself. Templar Nation is the true underappreciated and under served bad movie in the bad …
 
Two former Knights Templars (however the plural of that works) roam "The Far East" in a vague period of time bust up a usurpation of the kingdom by moping, doing opium, terrible battle plans and becoming Caribbean pirates. Tempyarr!!! What you want to come here for is the bad acting and the incredibly stupid character decisions. As one could predic…
 
It's disco fever time and the hottest club in LA manages to be one of the lamest clubs in LA at the same time. It's Jeff Goldblum, Donna Summer, Debra Winger and the Commodores giving us a 90 minute infomercial about disco life. While Sam manages to be correct that this film doesn't have a plot, he's wrong in that it isn't any fun. Sure, it's not g…
 
Bugs, bugs, bugs!!! This movie is chock full o' bugs! Large bugs, small bugs, bugs as big as your head - hell bugs that are MADE of your head. Heads that are made of bugs. I got bugs under my skin and bugs on my brain. Hope you like bugs. The Nest falls into the "body horror" genre as far from being a body horror film as one can be. This should fal…
 
The faerie folk who may or may not be all leprechauns have been living peacefully in the center of earth (or Middle Earth as some may call it) while a smug little kid who needs to be punted says he wants to team up with them but ends up shooting all of them. Get to the Time Portal, Uter! Artermis Fowl is a giant piece of crap. With or without, the …
 
Paul, the dubiously employed dirt digger, gets a case of moon brain causing him to become a "were-gorn" and eventually goes to critical mass all while his new girlfriend keeps him away from doctors and his buddy just wants him dead because its dinner-time. Track of the Moon Beast is iconic drive-in/MST3K type material. You're sadly not going to fin…
 
In a stunning display of some of the worst dancing ever beheld by the eyes of civilization, Michelle really just wants to be the #1 Go-Go dancer in all the world. Standing in her way is two dudes who just want to kiss her at beaches and her own ability to dance like a flopping fish. This movie falls into a very strange category of recommendation. I…
 
Voted Britain's Worst Movie Ever (by some blokes who must not have a very deep pool to chose from) Carry On Columbus becomes our first foray into the Carry On franchise. I think we can all agree; it's funnier than ACTUAL Columbus. We've entered into this in a very unconventional way. We imagine most viewers of the Carry On franchise have a few of t…
 
This coronasode we discuss Sam's new summer drink recipe, we ask if Joey and Chandler ruined America, a fan suggestion for Wacko, Sando takes on Global Economic Crisises and getting his lunch stolen, Troll 3, Contagion, Ready or Not, Blow the Man Down, Vast of Night and Jackie's got a turd of a Spookie out of Scotland.…
 
When you gotta remake a Jaws movie, make sure to remake Jaws II, cause you really can't screw it up and here's exhibit A. Expect many exploding dummies, strange sequences and terrible models. In grand 70s/80s Italian film tradition, we've got a direct ripoff of both Quint from Jaws and the plot of Jaws II. In further grand tradition, we've got terr…
 
This week we call to hear from our POC listeners, Jackie earns a new title, Tacoman gets his origin, The Brougham's maiden voyage, Sando Takes on Manual Labor, heroin songs, Upload, The Good Boys, another look at Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, a Jackie Spookie from the land down under and Eyes Wide Shut bang-parties.…
 
In a formula that you've seen one thousand times before, we get a themed slasher around a date, a plethora of red herrings and a telegraphed and an obvious murderer that makes for a fairly mundane time. The first thing one will notice about Graduation Day is the decision to base the killings all around high school sports - while knowing absolutely …
 
The "Two who are as one" go on a wacky adventure with some very questionable themes all to end up at a ritual that doesn't make a bit of sense with unclear intentions. Buckle up folks, this is one of the best bad movies ever. I don't know what more you could want in a bad movie. There's not a single thing in this film that is done well, yet there's…
 
Rudy Ray Moore dons the person of Dolemite who may or may not be a pimp, but is definitely awful at karate. In one of the most unique bad movies we've ever reviewed, Dolemite is unforgettable. The major thing that is unique is that at least 90% of the cast is completely stoned. No one is drunk. Which is strange in a strange way. Why are bad movies …
 
Join us for a loosey, goosey conversation about Pete Rose v Michael Jordan, why Vermont sucks, The Wizard IRL, The 1080, the top binge-worthy comedy shows, riveting listener feedback about that stupid cat from this week, Sando takes on food stamp exploitation, Waco and Jackie shares a San Diego spookie. Streaming now on Amazon Prime (nope).…
 
A cat walks off the ramp of his spaceship and hijinx ensue. Hope you like hijinx. Because we don't and we didn't. If you are 8 years old, we'd love to hear from you if you enjoy this movie. If you're not, even if you were at one point, and you like this movie, we don't want to hear from you. We worry about your mental health and we can't help you. …
 
It's another week of doom and gloom, so saddle up and click your spurs because we're gonna block out the baddies with some vocal shenanigans. This week we've got some booze talk, getting into the "Tiger Cage", He-Man, The People V Tommy, we get some sexy comedy recommendations out of the old country, our guess of what "cock-a-hoop" means, Sando tak…
 
WWIII is averted by sending two men to do single combat - one who just got beat up and another who is one mean gardener. It's about as dumb of a movie as ever been created and now we gift it to you. While The Final Sanction has some flash in the pan moments that have similarities to the masterpiece Deadly Prey it's a film that suffers from being dr…
 
If you follow the podcast, this movie might seem a little familiar to you as its absolutely the same movie as Firecracker. The primary difference? A Playboy Playmate who has absolutely no business doing karate. You'll probably realize very quickly upon view is that this might be the worst kung fu you've ever seen. It has to be. There can't be worse…
 
Three precocious scamps team-up on a journey across the Western US to get little Jimmy, a misdiagnosed kid with a heart of gold, to the ultimate video-game tournament, Video Game Armageddon. Plus Christian Slater and Beau Bridges share a hotel room. Is this movie TOO sexy? The Wizard falls into our "bad movie debunked" category of films - wherein t…
 
Race car (and man of assorted skills) Blaine Striker invades the tiny island of Santa Heron to team up with the local PhD candidates to take down a very drunk Oliver Reed's nasty plan to repeat the Cuban Missile Crisis. Shenanigans ensue.... Rage to Kill is about as VHS 80's icon as you can imagine. It's the perfect film to have gone into your loca…
 
Truck is coming for justice and vengeance (if that's possible). He's got a big hand cannon. He's got big shoes. And he ain't taking no crap from no back-talking pimps. So grab your ass, and prepare for the most badass movie we've reviewed. Truck Turner is super-badass. From the soundtrack to the clothes to the dialogue to the plot to Yaffett Cotto …
 
Some little dudes who clearly aren't actual Ghoulies warp into our dimension again to do...something... All while the guy from the first Ghoulies is still dealing with his demon summoning past and his obvious hot-chick magnetism, despite now being one tough cop. So the first thing that should be noted is that there are no ghoulies appear in this fi…
 
CORONASODE!!! #1 - In which Justin mistakenly brings up The Watchmen when Jackie is absolutely drunk. Oops. We discuss the toilet paper shortage and weightlifter grunts. Plus reviews of Bombshell, Tiger King, Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Knives Out and the gym speakeasy. Our coronasode episodes are only for listeners who are very familiar wit…
 
A tournament to the death turns into a strange drug heist eliminate the middle-man plot, all to the backdrop of a chesty-karate lady falling for the man who murdered her sister, one Darby Hinton. Firecracker is as good as bonkers Philippines movie as they come. None of it lines up but it's all non-stop entertaining. We should start by paying homage…
 
Here we go with Part 2 of the most important podcast you could listen to; time to count out the very best of the films we reviewed in our 6th year of podcasting. Each of us count down our top 10, so stop what you're doing and watch these movies today. This episode we count down numbers 4-1 plus our 3 favorite movies of 2019.…
 
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