10 Tips for Parents When Your Kid’s Viewing Porn

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Porn - this little word carries a heavy load of shame for some or maybe guilt for others. What about when you find out your child has been viewing porn?

Our offering for you is today is 10 Tips to help you navigate the path forward when you discover your child has been viewing porn.

Michelle Dunn - a Regeneration Team member and Therapist - joins Josh on the podcast to help us walk with our kids, not just as moms and dads, but also as allies in the world of sexuality.

Everything we’re talking about on this episode HINGES on the relationship you have with your teen. Our hope is that we can take shame out of the conversation around porn. Don’t let the accusing voices in your head be louder than your child's voice. Pay attention, a pornography problem is usually a symptom of a deeper problem rather than the core problem itself.

Listen in as Michelle and Josh coach us through adjusting our posture to be less fearful and more approachable.

We pray this episode serves you as a guide so you can have difficult conversations in love and peace.

Highlight:

when somebody’s feeling shame it is not going to make the problem go away. In fact, it will almost draw the individual to the problematic behavior as a way of coping.

It’s helpful for parents to accept reality, adjust your expectations, and not be afraid to be where you are

Get curious. How did we end up here? And again, it’s not for the purpose of shaming. That’s not the reason we want to do it but we want to be curious.

Homework:

10 TIPS FOR PARENTS:
1. ASK FOR HELP for yourself! Reach out to allies, friends, counselors, your pastor, so you can release.
2. ACKNOWLEDGE the current relationship you have with your teen - great trust? Solid bond? Distant?
3. ADDRESS the porn directly.
4. AFFIRM honesty even when it feels like bad news.
5. AVOID shame at all costs.
6. ASK QUESTIONS and teach your kid to get curious too.
7. ADJUST your lifestyle to respond to what you find out.
8. ADDRESS your son's or daughter's overall health.
9. ASSUME that even kids who want to stop may still struggle.
10. ASK FOR HELP FOR YOUR CHILD

Find a moment of privacy and with confidence directly address your child and the issue - be direct, tell them what you know.

Be Aware: When or where are you tempted to look? What time of day? - the questions create boundaries to help your son or daughter to relieve temptation

Treat the situation like a Fact-finding Mission or a Private investigation - be looking for clues NOT evidence to indict your son or daughter.

If you and your child discover there’s a pattern or trigger, what can you adjust together?
Where might your child need to learn to take better care of themselves emotionally, physically, spiritually, schedule?

Transcription:
Full Transcription Available here
Original music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.
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