How Do I Regain Her Trust and How Do I Trust Her?

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By Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman, Steve Moore, and Mark Kastleman. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Two of the BIG questions we hear a LOT from recovering porn/sex addicts is: "How do I get her to trust me again?" and "How do I trust her?" In this episode Mark and Steve get raw and practical about the answers to these critical questions—
How do I regain her trust?

  • The basis for your spouse trusting you again involves YOU developing consistency in several areas of recovery—not just sobriety.
  • There is NO way to MAKE her trust you, so QUIT pressuring her! "Neediness" will NEVER develop trust!
  • Your wife needs you to be a SUPPORT in her healing—learn how.
  • Be accountable for YOUR role in her PAIN.

How do I trust her?

  • Validating your own pain and shame is a CRUCIAL first step.
  • You have to LET GO of the "shoulds" about how and when to trust.
  • Let go of any lingering responsibility for her recovery, trauma responses, future choices, etc.
  • In some respects, the LESS you need the relationship, the MORE you will be able to trust it.
  • Work on your own healing—knowing YOU will be OK regardless of what she decides, will allow YOU to show up in the relationship again.
  • Trust is a CHOICE. At the end of the day, only YOU can make that decision.

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn
How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage
Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

36 episodes