SYSK Choice: The Best Advice is Not to Give Any & Overcoming Cognitive Dissonance


Manage episode 329215283 series 1321194
By Mike Carruthers / OmniCastMedia / Westwood One Podcast Network / and Mike Carruthers / OmniCast Media / Cumulus Podcast Network. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

People say they are attracted to people who make them laugh and have a good sense of humor. But it is a bit more complicated than that. It is true that humor can bring people together, but it can also pull them apart. This episode begins with an explanation about humor and couples.

When someone asks you for advice, you likely give it. After all, they asked. However, you may be better off by keeping quiet and withholding your advice, at least for a little while. That’s the suggestion of Michael Bungay Stanier. Michael has been named #1 Thought Leader in Coaching and he is considered one of the top coaches in the world. He is also author of a book called The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever ( Michael joins me to explain why you might want to be a little more stingy with your advice.

We all tend to justify our mistakes and poor decisions to ourselves. When we do something wrong or that we regret, it doesn’t line up with our beliefs about how we are good and honest people. So we make excuses or we decide there were extenuating circumstances because we know we are not bad people – we are good people who made a mistake. This process is called cognitive dissidence. Everyone does it and it can get you into trouble according to social psychologist Carol Tavris author of the book Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts ( Listen as Carol joins me to discuss this fascinating topic.

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