95: Sober Sex & Recovery with Stacie Ysidro


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By Duane Osterlind, LMFT, Duane Osterlind, and LMFT. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

On today’s episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast, Duane speaks to sex coach and educator Stacie Ysidro about addiction and healing your sexuality during the recovery process. Stacie has studied virtually every corner of addictive sexuality and has focused her career on helping people navigate sober sexuality once they’ve recovered. She has something of a passion for sexology and the relationship between sexuality and spirituality. She realized that people need coaching around their sexuality in recovery.

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Stacie discusses how sex is typically seen through the lens of people-pleasing and not through an honoring one. When not using a substance to escape, you have to more or less face your real sexual self. And yet it’s hard to honor yourself after trauma. Because sexuality is so vulnerable, it gives you access to every other part of yourself.

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Duane and Stacie talk about the link between vulnerability and sex with regard to treatment programs, our relationships, and the broader culture. Part of this process deals in releasing ourselves from shame and forgiving ourselves. Stacie uses something called a Sexual Values System to help assess where people are. The system has people scrutinize their own values, beliefs, and even definitions surrounding their own sexuality, including desires and expectations. Doing this work in a shame-free environment allows people to find new words, change their understanding, and set and realize goals.

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Stacie’s work helps people to see their own worth. She encourages people that are curious about healing their sexuality to start asking questions about their own sex lives to try to better understand their attitudes about sex. To come into presence with your body is the only way to authentically step into pleasure, free from judgment. And to do this is to ultimately unite our spirits with our sexuality. As Stacie says, “pleasure is our divine right.”

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