Manage episode 302080951 series 2391125
If you were traumatized as a child, growing up in a narcissistic family, you were often in a state of distress, hypervigilance, chronic anxiety. Your sympathetic nervous system, the fight or flight mode was over-worked. You could not let down and become relaxed. Growing up you were constantly on edge. You were raised by narcissists who could not be trusted, were incapable of genuine love, caring or warmth. You often felt waves of tremendous anxiety coursing through you. Chronic anxiety was a constant companion. You were besieged with insomnia. This is very understandable since you could trust no one.
No one in the family ever came to comfort you or made any effort to understanding what you were feeling. Displays of emotions were not allowed. They were scoffed at, derided and became the subject of scorn.
Being married to a high level narcissist you are often criticized, humiliated, demeaned, controlled, questioned and screamed at. In the beginning everything seemed almost perfect. Months go by and you notice chinks in this perfect false facade.When he makes huge mistakes you are blamed. Then the projections rev up. ..Your narcissistic spouse is always right and you are wrong. You are the culprit in every instance. Over time the high level creates a psychological climate of anxiety, extreme stress that becomes intolerable. There is no empathy coming from the high level. Your stress level heightens. Yo recognize that you are being re-traumatized by this narcissistic spouse. Memories of your toughest years of growing up in your narcissistic family from hell flash through your mind You feel that you are back there with the generalized anxiety, feelings of inadequacy.
You come to a time of awakening with all of your research and wisdom and revelation---Now you choose your own pathway of restoration and renewal to fulfill your destiny as a unique, creative evolved individual.
Practice self care: nourishing food, good hydration, Nature, movement and exercise, positive self regard, spending time with individuals whom you trust, your form of spiritual practice.
Give yourself tremendous credit for finding your way---for persevering and rediscovering the beauty and power of your true original self.
The high level becomes picky and criticizes you over the smallest issues.