When Is It Time to Go to Therapy? with Kobe Campbell


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Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!

Trigger Warning: We’re talking about mental health in this episode and the conversations can get pretty heavy. If you have little ears around, grab some headphones. Feel free to pause and save this episode for another time if you don’t feel like you have the capacity for it right now.

Are your quirks really trauma responses?

Are you depressed or is it the weather?

Do you understand what it means to be triggered?

Are past traumas continuing to pop up in your life?

Are you wondering if it’s time to start therapy?

Are you wondering which type of therapy you need?

What if you can’t afford therapy?

Does time heal all?

This is the first episode of May, which is Mental Health Month. Every episode this month will be focused on mental health in some way. I couldn’t think of a better person to chat with for the very first episode of Mental Health May than trauma therapist Kobe Campbell. Kobe is also co-host of The Healing Circle Podcast, and founder of The Healing Circle Therapy & Wellness Center. She helps me unpack all of the questions above and you’ll walk away with concrete resources as you start your healing journey.

Are Your Quirks Really Trauma Responses?

  • “Until I went to a therapist, I did not realize that the ways I responded to the world around me were a reflection of me trying to soothe anxiety.” - Kobe

Have You Ever Felt Triggered?

  • We tend to see triggers as us remembering a past trauma, but it’s really us re-experiencing it. Our bodies feel like we’re back in that traumatic moment. And we won’t always know what the traumatic moment was.
  • Are you ever dishonest about your feelings because you feel embarrassed by them?

  • “What hurts you in the past...is going to hurt you when you’re older… The deep wounds that we feel do not disappear.” - Kobe
  • “Time can distract us, but that’s about it.” - Kobe

Should You Get A Therapist?

  • Are you working things out by venting to your girlfriends? Are you wondering when would be a good time to take it to a professional?
  • I share the moment I knew it was time to get back into therapy.

  • “You don’t have to be in crisis to go to therapy. Therapy can be a preventative measure.” - Kobe

  • Start noticing the patterns in your life that pop up no matter the variables like time and place. We’re often too close to our own lives to see the full picture.

Which Type of Therapy Do You Need?

  • General Therapy
    • Like your family doctor who handles colds and flus, a general therapist handles things like anxiety and depression.
  • Specialized Therapy
    • They have a niche— they work with people who are working through a specific pain. This is for when you want to focus on things like sexual trauma, grief, family issues, or couple therapy.
  • Psychiatrists vs Therapists
    • Psychiatrists are in the medical field, while therapists are in the mental health field. Psychiatrists are able to prescribe medications and provide official diagnoses.

Should You Go On Medication?

  • Medication is trial and error sometimes to find the right fit.
  • I share my own experience in going the holistic route and when I ultimately felt open to trying medication.
  • There are doctors of osteopathic medicine that can use a blood test to see what medications would react well and poorly with you, narrowing down your trial and error search.

How Do You Find A Therapist?

  • Psychology Today is the Google of therapists. It lists names, degrees, licenses they have, and a bio that gives you a taste of who they are. It also lists fees, rates, and insurances they accept.
  • Most therapists offer free consultations, which are basically short connection calls to help you see if they are a good fit for you.
  • The biggest rule is that they should always make you feel safe. Always.

  • “Therapy is there to help heal you, not to re-traumatize you. If you ever feel like you have to defend the reality of your pain, run as fast as you can.” - Kobe

What If You Can’t Afford Therapy?

  • Ask about sliding scale fees. Some therapists offer reduced rates.
  • Open Paths Counseling Center is like Psychology Today, but for therapists who have reduced rate availability.
  • The Loveland Foundation provides financial assistance for Black women and girls who are seeking therapy.
  • Churches often have scholarship funds for therapy.

Kobe and I didn’t get to all of the questions I had for her— there was just so much to cover! So we decided to keep it rolling and continue the conversation just for my Patreon community. Over the next two weeks, I’ll be releasing the continued conversation with Kobe— join now at patreon.com/therefinedcollective.


It is finally HERE! My book, Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex is officially available online and in bookstores! If your copy arrives, make sure you post on social media and tag me! It makes my day to see it in your hands and I can’t wait for you to dive in.

Are you in the TRC Patreon community? Last week, Patreon got access to an exclusive podcast episode where I chat with a guy friend about my current dating woes. And THIS week you can hear a continuation of my conversation with Kobe Campbell. Sign up HERE!

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