A Very Wet Hell


Manage episode 273154546 series 2569150
By Jim Stormdancer. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

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  • April is @aprilsaur on Twitter.
  • John remains a mystery.



  • Seasons that aren't summer and states that aren't California.
  • John of the Commonwealth of Virginia Johns.
  • Calling yourself a Commonwealther but not knowing all the deep Commonwealth cuts.
  • Not having a city name because you're between cities and so calling yourself a "census designated place."
  • An experience that you had that is in the past.
  • Plugging a suspiciously expensive hat that players love.
  • Not being able to have hobbies because you just bought a house.
  • California, where it's sunny for hundreds of years and then suddenly a thunderstorm covers the entire state in tens of thousands of lightning strikes.
  • Not having to get your home repairs done before people visit because nobody can ever visit.
  • The good news is: podcasting.
  • Not having had a basement in decades.
  • Discovering that Virgina is a tiny piece of a giant land mass called North America.
  • Buying the Frog Fractions hat DLC for all your friends.
  • An extremely Californian form of hell.
  • Architects forgetting that climate exists after air conditioning is invented.
  • Fantasizing about winning the lottery when you never play the lottery.
  • The downside of climate control via architecture.
  • The feeling of tatami mats under your feet.
  • Realizing that having bugs in your floor sometimes is just the price you pay for having floor mats that bugs like to live in.
  • The tortilla mouse story.
  • Discovering that a mouse is living in your bag of tortillas and signing a contract with the mouse that it will just eat the tortillas and not destroy the rest of your house or breed.
  • Cats discovering extremely stale candy in the cabinet under the sink.
  • A squirrel spinning a corn tortilla like a steering wheel and eating it from the outside in.
  • A squirrel spinning a tortilla like a sign spinner.
  • Joining a D&D campaign late.
  • Knowing what your characters are about and creating situations where the characters have something to play against.
  • Making sure your players have stakes in the story being told.
  • A dope encounter on a luxury liner where you have to follow a bard with an anti-magic field.
  • A D&D campaign where all the players just hang out and eat Doritos.
  • Crafting a narrative by building outwards from a single dramatic moment.
  • Not knowing anything about the company you own half of.
  • The mystery of the Ultraviolet City.
  • Collaboratively inventing a story with your friends.
  • Having a beverage with you and being able to test a beverage hypothesis.
  • The sensation of a little bit of cool air passing over the various nerve endings in the inner mouth area.
  • Whether pooping is a social construct.
  • A two year old fixating on the color of Pepsi.
  • Tripping out on your own sensory experience.
  • Some real good honest mischief.
  • Taking a deeper breath so you can drink more.
  • Getting out the whiteboard to teach your infant son how to drink and belch.
  • A gentle sweet boy forcibly closing your laptop so you'll pay attention to him.
  • Perpetual stool, which also hangs around for 500 years.
  • Living for as long as you can keep the stew going.
  • Being caretaker for a stew that is 300 years older than you.
  • Making sure you eat all the meat out of your stew before it goes bad and spoils the rest of the stew.
  • Filling your house with the smell of fresh baked bread.
  • A bread recipe where you just put all the ingredients in a pan and then bake it.
  • A gradient of cheese.
  • Broccoli with horrible stinky cheese melted on top.
  • Jumping on any excuse to make an elaborate ridiculous meal.
  • Visiting your friends in Virginia but never talking to them because of COVID.
  • Going ballistic whenever you see a deer.
  • Making everyone sign an NDA before they can listen to this episode of your podcast.
  • Some sort of palace of food.
  • Two grocery bags being filled before you even realize what's happening.
  • Stipulating that the burrito rant has occurred.
  • Differing vehicle registration laws in Virginia and California.
  • Running a bunch of stop signs because they don't write the word "stop" on the ground in Portland, they only have the red sign.
  • How to proceed with the ARG when you believe you've solved the mystery of John's identity.

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