Big Jesus Retouch Energy

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Manage episode 273783388 series 2569150
By Jim Stormdancer. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

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Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • The raddest place to play web games.
  • Topic Time.
  • Something the Algorithm decided you should know about.
  • Having a hairstyle identical to the one you had in that music video thirty years ago.
  • Having an appropriate face for your voice.
  • Rickroll Georg who lives in a cave and has rickrolled people over a billion times.
  • The patron saint of being disappointed.
  • A bobblehead of Rick Astley on a crucifix.
  • Taking the loupe out of your breast pocket to check if your date's crucifix is really Jesus or if it's Rick Astley again.
  • The YouTube algorithm deciding it's important that everyone learn how to make a house out of sticks in the swamp.
  • What the Dancing Baby is up to these days.
  • How memes propagated before social media.
  • A deep learning up-rez of the Dancing Baby at 1080p and 60FPS.
  • A reverse engineered Diddy Kong 3D model with big Retouched Jesus energy.
  • Memes: look 'em up.
  • The ethics of adding a moment of silence in post.
  • Giving Rick Astley the Topic Lords Bump.
  • Memorizing the eye test they give you at the DMV because you keep forgetting your glasses.
  • The guy who only cracked the knuckles of one of his hands to test the hypothesis that cracking your knuckles causes arthritis.
  • Repeatedly breaking your knuckles so you can have enormous terrifying swollen knuckles and calling it a "bone trick"
  • The Bone Trick Brothers trying to out knuckle each other.
  • The doors that are now open to the Bone Trick Brothers.
  • The Bone Trick Brothers growing up to be insurance investigators specializing in knuckleheads.
  • The complete impossibility of photographing prawns.
  • Having to tell a
  • A derivatives market for trading futures contracts against the six genetically engineered prawns used in all food photography.
  • Being totally bought into a complete lie because it was written in a convincing authorial voice.
  • Being convinced by photo evidence even though you haven't looked at the photo evidence.
  • Getting your one mistake out of the way and having smooth sailing for the rest of your life.
  • This Headline is False.
  • Squinting at a plate of colorful rice and trying to see a negative space prawn.
  • Scientists just realizing that nobody has cooked a real prawn in decades.
  • The last topic being a complete fabrication.
  • Opening a hole in reality and pulling in alternate reality Topic Lords episodes where Jim is in a biker club and has guests named Rex.
  • Getting notifications any time a podcast anywhere in the multiverse talks about you.
  • Not even liking notifications from this universe.
  • Lyrics that sound like words but are not words.
  • A podcast as a way for people who miss you after you die to listen to you talk for hours about inane bullshit.
  • The first year of Topic Lords topics in a coffee table book.
  • When GPT-3 Jim is narrating the podcast of the future.
  • Instead of doing the whole trial, just doing the first few minutes of the trial and sending the transcript through GPT-3 and searching for "verdict."
  • Whether we're still talking about prawns.
  • Chunky Integers.
  • Feeling the weight of smaller numbers better than enormous ones.
  • The advantages and disadvantages of binary-coded decimal.
  • Feeding a virtual pet except you're just clicking on cookies.
  • Comparing sizes and distances and only really caring about order of magnitude.
  • A ragtag team of Internet people spending decades elaborating on your game idea.
  • Dozens of people adding features that they think will be cool and hoping that after ten years of this a good game design will emerge.
  • How Micheal Jackson might hypothetically have written the Sonic 3 soundtrack.
  • Getting excited to go down a YouTube rabbit hole.
  • An even cooler mystery than the mystery of the prawns.
  • Whether you like a song being predicated on exactly how familiar it is to you.
  • Loving the Sonic 3 soundtrack so much that you track down this Michael Jackson guy's other music.
  • Like playing an ARG except you're just living your life.
  • A Doom mod secretly being the best Sonic the Hedgehog game even though Doom doesn't support slopes so they can't do the loop-the-loop.
  • Modding room-over-room into the Doom engine so that you can put loop-the-loops in Sonic Robo Blast 2.
  • A great place you got here, lotta nice topics, really screams "party."
  • A part time paid employee who just came out of the woodwork.
  • Being a leaf node on the employment tree.

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