Century Of The Fruitbat

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Manage episode 262317593 series 2569150
By Jim Stormdancer. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

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Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Risking sounding like a corporate shill.
  • Whether or not Wikipedia is pretty great.
  • Wikipedia's editorial tone when describing ridiculous stories.
  • Finding a video embed in the middle of a textbook page and trying to press it.
  • A book with squiggle underlines wherever the author screwed up.
  • Having to come up with narrative justification for 500 one-on-one fights in a row.
  • The guy you just kicked off a cliff offering you cakes because nobody should have to fight on an empty stomach.
  • Your pet frog jumping on a box in your back yard marked radioactive, growing to massive size, then jumping down a huge hole that is also in your back yard for some reason.
  • The Japanese version of the wacky frog tank story just being factions at war in the post apocalypse.
  • Mega Man except you are a gnarly wizard instead of a robot.
  • A floating Buddha named "Surprise" shooting you in the back.
  • If Astro Boy were a mailman.
  • Merging the wacky frog tank story and the post apocalyptic war story into a single canonical timeline in the new Switch release.
  • Writing on paper made of trees with a pen and it's 2020.
  • Writing a thank you note when a relative hands you a twenty dollar bill.
  • Writing a jam game for every special occasion because it's more fun than writing a card.
  • The correct plural of Magnum Opus.
  • Returning to Lazy Land.
  • The videos you like best inevitably being taken down due to copyright strikes because that's the world we live in now.
  • YouTube telling you that some videos have been removed from your playlist but not telling you which.
  • A digital representation of what it's like to grow old.
  • Making a USB drive ark and taking two of every genre of music.
  • Your Google ad profile gaining sentience and making credit card purchases behind your back but also getting a job and making your credit card payments on time.
  • Going to work and nobody remembering who you are.
  • Going into the office wearing a gorilla costume and eventually sending in a gorilla to do your job and it turns out the gorilla is better at your job than you are.
  • Using a gorilla Snapchat filter on a gorilla to make it look like a human who's trying to look like a gorilla.
  • Waking up in parallel dino world where everyone is a dinosaur and your dinosaur twin waking up in human world where everyone is a human, because you both had a mad scientist neighbor.
  • Making a note of how to disguise yourself as a dinosaur because you never know when you'll end up in dinosaur world.
  • Doing a face swap with your cat during the conference call so everyone is too horrified to notice the gorilla in the background.
  • A pedalboard except it's Instagram filters.
  • Chaining Instagram filters to create a truly epic fursona.
  • Reverse college, where you get paid to forget things.
  • Getting paid a dollar per paragraph about skateboard tricks.
  • A varial kickflip except instead of splitting the axes of rotation between your feet, doing all the rotation with your front foot.
  • Writing a book with your 18 month old and it's just the words poop, ball, bath and meow over and over and over.
  • Your toddler growing up to discover axes and cops, like leaves changing colors in autumn.
  • A raccoon who is very friendly and has taken a lot of your money.
  • Whether Tom Nook is a slum lord.
  • A dog with five fingers, an apron, and a whole lot of bells.
  • Being in debt forever because your landlord keeps building you a bigger and bigger house.
  • A 100% speedrun of Adobe Photoshop.
  • Adding achievements, particle effects, and screenshake to Visual Studio.
  • Two melodica players coincidentally bringing their instruments to the same party and locking eyes from across the room.
  • Cheap, portable musical instruments you can have with you at all times and practice with at the drop of a hat.
  • A tube with six holes in it.
  • Penny whistles always being in D because it's one more than C.
  • Wikipedia diving deep into the lore of each musical scale.
  • The cute face of the otamatone being almost assuredly more entertaining than the notes you play with it.
  • Penny whistles with a conical bore staying in tune better than cylindrical ones.
  • The monomyth of the boy who sneaks up on a seal while she's bathing and steals her skin and she turns out to be a beautiful human woman and now she has to marry him.
  • The origin of the pear-with-teeth meme.
  • The Biting Pear of Salamanca.
  • Whether anyone named Ursula is still alive today.
  • An interesting reaction to discovering that your daughter is made of birch bark.
  • A dead whale falling to the ocean floor and feeding scavengers for years.
  • Spending your whole life waiting for a whale to die.
  • Zombie worms growing like flowers in the lightless garden of a sunken whale corpse.
  • A tiny kobold fondling an eggplant.
  • Giving your wife a picture of a fruit with teeth for her birthday.
  • Your skateboard being stolen twice in the same day.
  • Angsty skateboarders lashing out at the world around them via sick kickflips.
  • Fighting everyone around you being morally equivalent to fighting no-one.
  • A nine year old girl in a tutu doing a double heelflip.
  • The cost of skateboarding being measured in hospital visits, especially when you are 40 and overweight.
  • Wearing an inflatable dinosaur suit and skateboarding in a bounce house for maximum safety.
  • Wanting to get into skateboarding but you're scared of dying and none of your friends have trucks.
  • Hacky sack looking fun but actually it's a lie built on a throne of falsehoods and pain.
  • Narrowing an artefact's origin down to the Century of the Fruitbat.
  • Musicians dancing while they play just to show off that they are good enough at music and dancing that they can do both at the same time.
  • Being entirely out of both topics and lords.

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