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Manage episode 247351304 series 2569150
By Jim Stormdancer. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

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Lords this week:

Topics discussed:

Microtopics:

  • False promises about updating a podcast in-place.
  • Finding a creepy lemon hand in the Safeway lying there like a monkey's paw.
  • Finding citrus fruit in the toilet.
  • Finding talking fruit in the toilet.
  • Whether the toilet is a dish or a soup.
  • Accidentally paying $11 for cashew milk.
  • Asking the cashier to remove a weird squash.
  • Distracting the cashier with pictures of missing nuts.
  • The nut abduction clinic.
  • A grape that you have to peel like a shrimp.
  • A grape that is constantly pooping itself.
  • Writing grants for prawn farmers.
  • Draining the entire pond to grab all the prawns.
  • Sound re-use in Super Mario Bros.
  • Tropes that are boring in Japan but still interesting in other cultures.
  • King of the Hill being a relatable honor story about a salaryman.
  • Misutā Supākoru.
  • Imitation concrete pipes that won't roll over and crush you.
  • Being too socially inept to realize you're being excluded.
  • Trying to kill half your friends but only in retrospect.
  • The Goat Simulator stage of baby development.
  • The Goat Simulator stage of game development.
  • Being at the pinnacle of your child body.
  • Realizing halfway through the creative process that you should've been writing a novel.
  • Dying and giving a soliloquy about so dying representative democracy.
  • Having pages of justification for why you're covered with nipples.
  • The story about missing cowboys actually being about North Korea.
  • Not wanting to share your kumquat jokes.
  • Explaining a meme from 2010 to your grandchildren.
  • Sisqo playing a love interest dentist.
  • Replacing the love interest in the sequel.
  • Hangover 2 just having another hangover in it.
  • Making friends with Mexican paramilitary organizations to save the world.
  • Raising your child on a diet of guns and kung fu before the government takes him away.
  • The most woke Shrek movie.
  • Deciding whether you want to hear "All Star" literally all the time.
  • Moving pieces of paper around and not being sure you're making anything better.
  • Being yelled at by your sister to wash potatoes faster.
  • Your yelling sister following you from job to job.
  • A sandwich being well beyond your cognitive load.
  • Ordering a viking at Subway.
  • Eating the devil given physical form every Wednesday for lunch.
  • Writing summoning words in your sandwich order.
  • Thinking of the exact same demon as your guest lord.
  • Writing an entire sentence with no commas at all because commas make you pretentious.
  • Putting a period in your minimalist font because you have to be able to refer to "Dr. Awesome."
  • Agreeing that "UPS" is a one-syllable word.
  • That one Finnish word that Jim still uses regularly.
  • Singing "Finnish Affectation" to the tune of "Wave of Mutilation"
  • Legislature that would force corporations to pay ongoing rent for the space their jingles take up in your brain.
  • Getting scurvy to cure your trench mouth.
  • Trading your oral health for the opportunity to make weird troll games for a living.

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