Inside The Atomic Purple Man

56:11
 
Share
 

Manage episode 267083550 series 2569150
By Jim Stormdancer. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Living in the same city all your life.
  • Migrating your physical co-working space to a virtual co-working space.
  • Splashing around in your artwork.
  • A horse-sized great Dane that you ride around.
  • How human civilization would have been different if early man rode giant chickens rather than horses.
  • The most testosterone-filled Saturday morning cartoon available.
  • Transforming into a buff confident cat when it's time to save the day.
  • Chicken dressage.
  • Whether Poland has unicorn chickens, and if so, why didn't they put them in The Witcher.
  • Your giant chicken companion laying a giant egg and staring at you expectantly until you eat the egg.
  • Chilling out and eating bugs and vegetable scraps.
  • Having a pair of pliers for a face.
  • The stupendous cowardice of Steven Spielberg refusing to add feathers to the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.
  • Just how fluffy velociraptors would have to become in order to be considered birbs.
  • Velociraptors having been about the size of a turkey.
  • Being eaten by an adorable bird and hugging it from the inside.
  • Whether Pom Pom is about the size of a beach ball or about the size of a shoggoth.
  • Sitting on Pom Pom like a pilates ball, and whether he'd be into that.
  • An extremely clever abuse of our cultural understanding of time.
  • Making a video game in zero hours.
  • Preferring tools maintained by small communities.
  • Making a replacement for Flash without understanding why people like Flash.
  • Really giving touchscreens the business.
  • Whether or not touchscreens will be as good as mice and keyboards if we give them another thirty years to evolve.
  • Noticing a grease print where your ear touched your phone's screen during a call.
  • Keyboards also being excellent mirrors for how filthy humans are.
  • Your hands feeling like they're doing something meaningful when you touch your letters.
  • Starting a hobby where you touch mysterious peppers.
  • The Schmidt Sting Pain Index making certain stings sound delightful.
  • The sting of the digger bee: almost pleasant, a lover just bit your earlobe a little too hard.
  • The sting of the sweat bee: light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
  • The sting of the bullet ant: pure, intense, brilliant pain, like walking over charcoal with a three-inch nail embedded in your heel.
  • Whether the Bullet Ant is named so because their sting makes you feel like you've been shot.
  • Couches, where humans go.
  • Detaching your stuffy nose and leaving it at home until your cold gets better.
  • Trying to hide from your employer that you don't need to sleep.
  • Whether or not you'd sleep on purpose even if you didn't have to.
  • Switching from food and beverages to photosynthesis.
  • The Atomic Purple boy showing off his pineal gland in anatomy class.
  • Whether dogs think other dogs are good dogs.
  • Putting a dog and a petting interface in your game so that you can pet the dog.
  • Not knowing how to draw but still being able to draw the cool S.
  • A fantastically evocative way to talk about typing.
  • Trying to think of something clever and alliterative to say.
  • Re-learning how to make the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" hand motion when you're 40 years old.
  • Getting some sourdough starter in a mason jar and immediately shattering the jar on the ground before you even get the chance to name it "Gerald."
  • Counting the number of bubbles that your sourdough starter makes.
  • Eating only a small piece of Gerald each time you make a loaf of sourdough.
  • The yeast throwing a party while the dough rises.
  • An alternate reality where it's seen as good and noble to eat the dead.
  • Feeding your prospective lover your body hair.
  • Adding an egg to ramen so that it's technically healthy.
  • A parrot that needs to be convinced to eat fruit.
  • The simplest carb and fat blast you can imagine.
  • Feeding your parrot whatever it is you're eating for dinner.
  • Hot dogs and grapes being the perfect size to choke to death on.
  • Salad Minus The D.

Support Topic Lords

58 episodes