Tandem CPAP


Manage episode 263411424 series 2569150
By Jim Stormdancer. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

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  • The comfort of a Discord voice channel where everyone is muted.
  • A Discord voice channel where you go to poop.
  • Perceiving a pun and wanting to forget it.
  • Being in total agreement as to whether we should discuss topics.
  • The hidden cost of plastic coat hangers.
  • Contemplating the luxury of your collection of fancy wooden coat hangers.
  • Never having purchased coat hangers in your life but still ending up with a bunch of them.
  • Accruing heavier and heavier clothing as you age.
  • Not needing coat hangers because you just drape all your clothes over the back of a folding chair.
  • A barbecue joint where the mascot is a sapient pig that is super thrilled that you're about to eat him.
  • Alienation from the food production process.
  • The weird zone where pigs are slaughtered in an alternate dimension outside our ken.
  • Chuck E. Cheese's real name.
  • The sweetest meat you'll ever eat.
  • Sweetmeats vs. sweetbreads.
  • A restaurant with the slogan "the sweetest bread you'll ever eat" and the mascot is a talking Thymus gland.
  • Thymus glands just being in you someplace.
  • Putting soup in your humidifier and saving yourself the trouble of making breakfast.
  • Accidentally blasting yourself with mold all night.
  • Sharing a CPAP machine with your life partner, like a tandem bike.
  • Adding a splash of bleach to your soup so it won't grow mold in your humidifier overnight.
  • Taking action to ensure huge amounts of water enters your body because otherwise the water will probably just sit there.
  • Every sliding glass door having a big colorful sticker on it because once someone ran into it and broke their nose or crashed through or both.
  • The worst-designed lateral thinking puzzle exacerbating your fear of heights.
  • All the rollers in the sliding glass door being crushed so you're just dragging a huge pane of glass along the ground.
  • Sliding glass doors being perfectly safe because they cannot break; they can only become windows.
  • Increasing the amount of natural light in your home via strategic placement of mirrors.
  • Holding a mirror and pointing the sun at your face.
  • Everyone loving your ukulele cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit, but only the first time they hear it.
  • Knowing how to play a bunch of instruments but they all weigh 300 pounds.
  • Making a xylophone out PVC pipes you found in a dumpster and playing Ode to Joy on it.
  • Solving this portable xylophone problem once and for all by googling "portable xylophone."
  • A gigantic marimba that is built into the room it's in like a supercomputer of sound.
  • Wanting to go on a weird xylophone tour.
  • Being good enough to impress people who don't know anything about that particular skill.
  • Wanting to play an instrument that leaves your mouth free to have a jolly conversation.
  • Combining our powers to identify the hexagonal pirate accordion.
  • Circus jazz.
  • Scottish peasants swaying together like kindergarteners singing a jolly pagan song as the flames approach.
  • Fifty years ago, being horrified when pagans burn the character representing cops and religious authority alive, but nowadays everybody owns a guillotine and worships Alan Moore's snake god.
  • Whether the Nicholas Cage Wicker Man being hilarious at release was inspired by the 1970s Wicker Man being hilarious in a modern context.
  • Jokes that modern audiences don't have the context to understand.
  • Works written in 17th or 18th century English needing localization as much as works in a foreign language.
  • Not linking to an edifying Tumblr thread because Tumblr's threading is the worst.
  • People in the 1940s just talking like that actually.
  • Movie actors finally learning to act sometime around 1950.
  • Staying awake for 38 hours to get every star, moon and shine in the 3D Mario series.
  • Our failings as adult humans.
  • Doing game jams where you actually sleep.
  • Scoping your game development project to allow sleep during development.
  • Romanticizing the idea of staying up all night doing something fun because now you're an adult with adult responsibilities and shirt resilience.
  • Not being able to justify doing something for fun so you tack on a charity drive.
  • The shifting sense of what's important and what's moral that defines the human experience over time.
  • Whether or not you could pay us to play World of Warcraft.
  • Your guild leader getting in fistfights all the time and eventually going up jail and appointing you temporary guild leader because he doesn't realize you're a woman.
  • Training your brain to be okay playing just one video game for a while.
  • A hat that is so ugly you had to give it to a friend.
  • Giving your goth dog friend pastel outfits to wear on Bunny Day.
  • Lamenting that there is no other place or time to discuss topics.

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