Very Hype About This Apple

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Manage episode 246907319 series 2569150
By Jim Stormdancer. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Hypothesizing about how much business your internet review gets a small business.
  • A restaurant in San Francisco somehow not going out of business.
  • Reassuring meme carriers that they are still good people.
  • Majestic yet ridiculous muscledudes.
  • Dreaming a GDC talk.
  • Taking the "lord" title seriously because you are probably ruled by literal lords.
  • Our sister podcast across the pond, Topic Senators.
  • Distinguishing lords from non-lords by their shoulder armor.
  • Preppers going from being a joke to an aspiration.
  • Realizing that literally none of your skills would help you in the apocalypse.
  • Drinking pee through a Life Straw and it still tasting like pee.
  • California-branded disasters.
  • Naming your produce via an Internet poll.
  • Produce having a launch date.
  • Lining up at Safeway for produce's midnight launch.
  • Eating berries exclusive to your region.
  • Believing horses still exist because you've seen them once.
  • Being almost sure horses aren't a hoax.
  • Inserting horses into the historical record.
  • Duckbilled platypi being obviously bullshit.
  • Every platypus having been secretly manufactured by the Tyrell Corporation.
  • LA and San Francisco merging because Philip K Dick didn't predict rising construction costs.
  • Finding out that miniature horses can be service animals.
  • Service ponies in the soup aisle.
  • Someone defacing an explanatory sign to make people believe that horses can be service animals.
  • Miniature ponies being grandfathered in.
  • Everyone choosing the mockingbird as their state bird.
  • Being annoyed that trees are the wrong trees.
  • Being young enough for them to just be trees I guess.
  • The sky being the wrong sky.
  • Seeing freeway exit signs for Jupiter.
  • The Golden Gate Bridge getting wrecked.
  • A story being grounded in geography.
  • Stepping out of the movie theater into the neighborhood the movie you saw was set in and feeling like you're still in the movie.
  • Everyone's effective hometown being San Francisco because that's where every movie is set.
  • Getting experience points for taking selfies.
  • The Coit Tower secretly being a giant hologram full of horses.
  • The arbitrariness of what makes a hotel scary.
  • The horror of a hotel room possibly having bedbugs.
  • Not being scared by a movie because you chose to watch it.
  • The cute robot doing all the murders.
  • The TV edit of Robocop somehow being even more traumatic.
  • Sneaking an art house movie into your horror movie.
  • No longer being affected by supernatural horror but being terrified of movies with car accidents.
  • The implicit social contract that horror movies shouldn't address the horror of real life.
  • The ethics of advertising horror movies.
  • The ad that places a horrible idea in your mind and promises closure/the antidote if you pay for the full movie.
  • Buying a tub of baked beans at the concession stand and feeling good for five minutes.
  • Refilling the essential oil cartridge for gunfire.
  • Not wanting to smell Bioshock, or most video games really.

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